Cosplay Caption Contest
 

- Collection #3 -

 

I hope you folks at home are ready for some more pictures of the newest cutting edge styles in the nerd fashion world, because I've got the results of eight more Cosplay Caption Contests lined up for your viewing pleasure.

If you're wondering how I'm able to find all these images of costumed horror, my methods involve getting massively intoxicated and typing terms such as "bad cosplay", "awful cosplay", "terrible soul-crushing cosplay", and "afgasdbh ci;osahd" into Google. After that, all it takes is a keen eye and a hearty dose of self-loathing to spot the keepers. No, I don't actually take the pictures myself, nor do I give the original photographers credit for their work. I do, however, show my appreciation for the folks who snap these shots by submitting their e-mail addresses to a variety of bestiality subscription sites and online newsgroups for both the KKK and the Neo-Nazi movement. Because fuck them for putting this shit on the internet. Since starting this feature, my nightmares have become literally nothing but pasty teenagers in neon blue wigs.

While I go pour myself a nice tall glass of homemade bathtub gin, please enjoy the following collection of social rejects using insane outfits to publicly advertise their status as virgins.
 


Contest #17 (Originally ran 3/01/08)



Winning Caption:

The birth defects caused by radiation from the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki are still seen decades later. Photo credit: William DeKay, National Geographic.
- Sway

Honorable Mentions:

Contrary to the suggested innuendo, the guy with the blue hair is actually the one who sucks cocks.
- The Hutch

I'm thinking this leads to so many suicides, the streets will be as empty as the ones in I Am Legend.
- Homer DJW

Jesus did his best to hide his anger after Buddha convinced him to shave his beard and go cosplaying with him.
- Shmeckie
 


Contest #18 (Originally ran 3/08/08)



Winning Caption:

"OH GOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO YOSHI?! STOP THAT! STOP THAT!"
- The Hutch

Honorable Mentions:

They may be eight-bit characters, but unfortunately the costumes are merely two-bit.
- Sway

Sheik, after spending most of her money on new skin-tight pants, couldn't afford a good wrap, so she just settled for toilet paper.
- Mysty
 


Contest #19 (Originally ran 3/15/08)



Winning Caption:

You see?! You see?! This is why people are scared shitless of what goes on at Burning Man!

- Shmeckie

Honorable Mentions:

Gentlemen, we can make him even gayer; we have the technology.
- Yaoi Huntress Earth

I'd make a comment about Tinkle having tits or abnormally huge feet, but I feel I'm above that. Instead, I'll add that she looks like she has a boner on her head.
- The Hutch
 


Contest #20 (Originally ran 3/22/08)



Winning Caption:

The Sailor Scout's newest joint attack: Sexually Harass the Only Normal Girl There.
- Mysty

Honorable Mentions:

"You have a choice, normie. Either the breasts must be shrunk, or the belly must be enlarged. This life-changing choice will be left to you!" *Cue nerd laughter*
- Homer DJW

Green Girl: She doesn't taste like a nerdy otaku in drag...

Blonde: I don't know, let's poke her chest and see.
- Yaoi Huntress Earth

Hey, I thought Uranus and Neptune were the lesbians.
- Serra
 


Contest #21 (Originally ran 3/29/08)



Winning Caption:

They contacted MacGuyver, telling him to make them costumes using only construction paper, a sleeping bag, and some bed sheets. Even MacGuyver has his limits...
- Shmeckie

Honorable Mentions:

Question: Who the hell do you think we are?
Answer: Eternal virgins without social lives.
- Caim

Is that a dude or a dudette on the left? If it's a dude, his sister's gonna be pissed when she finds out where her bras went.
- Homer DJW

Don't hate the cosplaya, hate the game.
- Sway



Contest #22 (Originally ran 4/05/08)



Winning Caption:

Due to a decline in attendance at sumo wrestling matches, gimmick-driven matches are now being held. These matches combine wrestling with cosplay to form one big, fat, nerdy fuckfest. Instead of honbasho, these tournaments are commonly called "hornydorkbasho."
- Kvitne

Honorable Mentions:

Once Krispy Kreme opened their first chain in Japan, things started to go downhill.
- T_K_17

Too bad Bufflo Bill and his little brother's latest scheme to eat Naruto and Inuyasha and then wear their skins didn't work as planned.
- Yaoi Huntress Earth

Inuyasha and Naruto sure are troopers... Keeping their heads held high after being anally raped by that bicycle pump... *sniff* They're an inspiration!
- Shmeckie



Contest #23 (Originally ran 4/12/08)



Winning Caption:

See, bitches?! That Yaoi shit ain't so pretty in real life! And you can't tell me that Ed cosplayer isn't flamingly gay.
- Shmeckie

Honorable Mentions:

Robert Smith gets nailed by David Bowie! Film at eleven.
- Mr. Dave

The 2005 Freestyle Glomping National Champs.
- Sway



Contest #24 (Originally ran 4/19/08)



Winning Caption:

(Singing) "I represent the pathetic geek guild. The pathetic geek guild. The pathetic geek guild. As a representative of the pathetic geek guild, I wish to welcome you to Otaku Land."
- Yaoi Huntress Earth

Honorable Mentions:

Jigsaw's traps began to get less creative after Saw IV.
- Homer DJW

"In local news, a more effective campaign for abstinence education was recently unveiled at the local civic center..."
- ExpensiveConcubine

Never thought they'd make a live-action TV series based on obscure comic superheroine Bondage Shovel...
- Shmeckie



That's it for this collection, folks. If you managed to avoid becoming sexually aroused while viewing the images on this page, then congratulations! You get to live.

Want to join in on the captioning fun and have a chance at achieving internet fame? Just sign up an account on the Project AFTER Forums and submit your own cuttingly clever comments to the Cosplay Caption Contest! Bonus offer: Join the boards in the next 10 minutes and we'll waive the standard $36 sigh-up fee! What a deal!