Welcome to the obligatory page where I'm supposed to tell
you how to reach me so that you can send me messages telling
me what a heartless asshole I am and/or complain that I
don't update the site as often as you'd like. Because,
honestly, I think we both know that's the only reason you'd
ever bother to send me an e-mail.
Questions & Comments
Got a question about the site? Got a comment about the site?
Got an online pharmaceutical distributor paying you to
randomly send messages informing me that women are
unsatisfied with the current size of my manhood? If so, then
you'll probably want to be sendin' me an e-mail. While I
always appreciate getting mail from my readers, keep in mind
I'm a big fan of literacy, and as such I'll enjoy whatever
it is you want to tell me a whole lot more if you make sure
that your message is at least halfway legible. And if you've
got a question regarding Project AFTER, please do me a favor
and take a quick look through the FAQ page just to make sure
that your question hasn't already been answered somewhere in
there. If it hasn't, then feel free to ask me anything. Go
on, don't be shy now!
Send Me an E-Mail!
Note: I read every single e-mail I get from my readers, and
unless it's completely idiotic nonsense, I almost always send
back a reply. That's how desperate I am for attention. Keep in
mind, though, that sometimes I get kind of busy and I might not
reply to your message for a few days. That doesn't mean I don't
love you, it just means that I'm busy with important business
matters. Just be patient with me. Now, if a week passes and you
still haven't heard back from me, then your e-mail might have
gotten blocked by the spam filter, in which case you can go
ahead and re-send it.
Interested in having your name appear on the web's #1 fanfiction
mockery site? If so, then there are two types of content you can
submit to become a part of the Project AFTER Experience:
If you've got something to say about fanfiction, the anime
community, the career of popular reggae artist Lucky Dube, or
anything else that might interest readers of this site, then you
may want to express your thoughts in an editorial. The actual content of the article can be just about anything
(within reason), so long as the quality of the writing meets my
personal standards. Spelling and grammatical errors aren't a
huge deal since they can be easily fixed; I'm more concerned
with how skillfully you're able to put your thoughts into
writing and convey a statement, or back up your arguments if you
present any. Having a sense of humor is a major plus, but it
isn't a prerequisite.
Once your editorial is completed, send it to me at the above
e-mail address as a .txt, .doc, .wps, or .html file. Just
make sure you don't copy the text into the body of the e-mail
itself; it makes things much easier for me if you send your work
as an attachment.
If you want to send in your own fanfiction review, then all you
need to do is e-mail it to me (again, as a separate attachment
to your e-mail) along with some basic information about the fic,
such as the name of the author, what source material it's
based on, and anything else you think I should be aware of if I decide to add
your contribution to the site. A link to the original, unaltered fanfic is
always appreciated, but not absolutely necessary.
whole e-mail thing is a fad you'd rather not get sucked into, an alternate way
of submitting your fanfiction review is to post it on the
Project AFTER Forums in the Fanfiction Mockeries section. Just
contact me with a note that you want to
submit your review for inclusion on the website itself, and I'll
consider it the same as if you had sent the review to me
Posting fanfiction reviews on the forums first is a great way to
get some feedback on your writing skills and possibly some
advice on what you could change or improve upon before your work
gets put up on the site, ensuring that your efforts to destroy
someone's ego are as hilariously cruel as they can be.
Regardless of how you plan on submitting the finished product,
be sure to keep the following conditions in mind when
selecting a fanfiction to review:
||The source material that the fanfic is based on can be
any form of fiction (stories based solely on the lives of real
people are out), including movies, TV shows, books, video games, etc.
However, because of the theme of this site, fanfics based on an
anime or manga series are greatly preferred.
||Stick to reviewing fanfics
based on a single source; no crossovers. Fics that
involve multiple sources complicate things when it comes
to categorizing the source material, plus they really
piss me off.
||The fanfic you review must be finished and complete. In other
words, it can't be a work in progress or an excerpt from a
larger fic. Furthermore, if the story spans multiple chapters,
then you have to review the entire work from start to finish.
||The total length of the fanfic should be at least three
pages long (say a minimum of 1,500 words), and not too much longer
than about twenty pages (approximately 10,000 words, give or
the fic should be between 4,000 and 7,000 words (depending on how
it's formatted), before you write in any comments or
Good luck, folks! May all your dreams of crushing others'
dreams come true.