Part VII: "Grim Tales From
(As seen at
Good-fuck mother-fuck fuck-fuck! I am aghast at the utter,
unbridled INSANITY of the comic I am about to review. Thank god
for my Story-Art-Author format, or else I would have no idea
where to start. I'm still having a hard time digesting it. I
still find it hard to believe that this comic exists, or that I
actually saw what I saw.
I guess a good place to start would be announcing that this
review is the beginning of what I'll call "The Bleedman
Chronicles". Because there's just way too much crazy shit out
there with Bleedman's name attached to it to be confined within
a single installment of Comic Release. Before we dive into this
thing proper, let me set the stage here...
Perhaps you've heard of Snafu Comics? No? Well, it's a site
housing several comics by different artists. One is good (Sticky
Floors; a legitimately funny--or at least it was, in the
beginning--comic by Matt Herms, who is an artist I have enjoyed
for awhile now), one looks like it could be good over time (Ever
After), and the rest suck (I mean they seriously, really fucking
suck). There are several comics on there, though, done by
a disturbing fella named Bleedman. Bleedman creeps me out, and
his creepiness is apparent by the lolicon-lookin' drawing of
Roll on his little update avatar thing (at the time this article
was first written, anyway--I'm sure he'll eventually change it
to a nude picture of his 4-year-old niece, or something). And
just go and look at his DeviantART gallery (between all those
pages lies a disturbing amount of diminutive characters, with a
very "lolicon" feel). I strongly suspect him of being a child
Now, this nutbag has MULTIPLE comics on the internet.
Apparently, one shot of utter insanity just wasn't enough. This
guy seems obsessed with doing Cartoon Network crossovers, laced
with melodrama of the highest caliber, with plenty of pure and
utter bizarreness. This one's gonna be quite a trip, folks.
Imagine a Six Flags coaster that runs through an asylum. I'll be
taking you on that kind of ride.
H'okay... Here we go... Y'know that show on Cartoon Network, called
The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy? Well, I've never
seen it, but I've seen the commercials, and an old friend of
mine I don't talk to anymore used to watch it (he watched tons
of kids' cartoons). Apparently, it has the Grim Reaper, with a
Jamaican accent, babysitting these two kids, and they go on all
sorts of wacky adventures. Well, this comic has the madman
premise that the Grim Reaper got married to the little girl he
was babysitting (Mandy), who is now an adult, and doesn't wear
pants anymore. Their two children, Grim Jr. (who has an
inexplicable tuft of brown hair on his skeletal head--I love it
when anime whores' need to make things Japanese-y reaches the
point where their character designs stop making sense), and
Minimandy. Yeah. Minimandy. I guess "Mini" is the girl form of
"Jr.", for parents who can't be bothered to actually give their
children unique names. Apparently, the reaper and his
May-December bride can't be bothered to even name their children
"Doug", "Amanda", or something fucking common... The
hell're they gonna do if they have a third kid?! Name him "Uhhhhh..."?!
Grim Jr. is an obvious attempt at being "kawaii", what with his
chibi look, and the hoodie that's supposed to be like his dad's
cloak. Minimandy is some lolicon bitch who talks in ridiculous
old English. How ridiculous, you ask? Well, a normal person
would say "Hey, I would like a sandwich," while Minimandy would
say "Forsooth, knave, I wish to partake in the breaded meal that
thine Earl of Sandwich hath invented to satisfy mine hunger.
Thou shalt fetch me one, posthaste!" Yeah... Not joking on that
one, that's how she talks. So anyway, it starts with the kids
having a curiosity-driven adventure in Hell (I mean the actual
dwelling place of damned souls here, not the figurative sort of
"hell" I use to describe my own life). And who do they meet in
Brace yourselves. You won't see this coming...
normally, I fantasize about awesome, murderous characters
and fanfics. But now that it's actually happened...
THE FUCKING VIOLATOR! As in "the bad guy from Spawn".
And who shows up to save the kiddies from Violator?
Spawn has a cameo in this thing! And considering that the great
Todd MacFarlane did not draw him, he is cartoony, and made of
rainbows and suck. So after the kids escape Hell, the Grim
Reaper and his child bride decide to show the kids where
Halloween comes from... You see what's coming now, don't you?
You're saying to yourself, "No... No... He's not gonna go
there... Ain't no way..." Well, way, my friend. They all head on
over to Halloween Town from The Nightmare Before Christmas,
and several pages replay the opening musical number from that
movie. Now, it was about that time that I drove a railroad spike
through my head to make it stop. Unfortunately, the spike
somehow failed to destroy brain, and I survived... And damn, I
wish I hadn't. So, there's a party at Halloween Town for
whatever reason, and Jack Skellington is apparently related to
the Grim Reaper (from that Cartoon Network show, lemme remind ya).
There's some dancing, and Grim Jr. break dances, and it's
supposed to be funny, but I just ended up driving another
railroad spike through my head, perplexed that it didn't kill
me. I did laugh madly, to the comic's credit, but it was due to
my loss of sanity, and not any hilarious cuteness on the comic's
That movie is
to be shunned, dammit, not referenced!
...Served.... AAAAAUGH! WHERE'S MY SPIKES?!
Damn, that's three now, and I'm still here... Well, in any case,
Grim Jr. goes to sulk because he fell down, and he's abducted by
Lock, Shock, and Barrel, who are now all anime-ified (and a lot
less creepy than they originally were), and they invite Grim Jr.
to join their club. For reasons unknown, other than pure
exposition, Grim reads them his father's diary that he stole,
and that's where things gets REALLY fucked up... In this Grim
Adventures of Billy and Mandy/Spawn/Nightmare Before Christmas
crossover fanfiction comic...
It retells the story of Grim Adventures, and makes the pairing
of the Reaper and Mandy even more creepy by showing her as a
kid. It goes through the show's premise, and how the Reaper was
so fond of them, yadda yadda yadda... Anyway, they were supposed
to die, but the Reaper didn't wanna kill 'em, and Mandy finds
out, blah blah blah. Oh, and she has a poster of Hitler in her
bedroom. Subtle. Apparently, in the show, Mandy was a dark and
evil child, or something to that effect. I'm pretty sure she
didn't have an Adolf Hitler poster hanging over her bed, though.
Maybe Cartoon Network just cut that part out, and it shows up on
the DVDs... Anyway, Grim stops hanging out with the kids (after
writing off co-lead Billy in typical fanfiction fashion), and
Mandy becomes a left-wing assassin despot (not my
interpretation, mind you), and there's a cameo of Coop from
Megas XLR (which enrages me because I loved that show). The
damn comic goes to great lengths to present Mandy as the
all-evil. A villainous Mary Sue, if you will. Then, when she
becomes an adult, Grim proposes to her for retarded reasons (as
Joe Black, no less, for a cameo that made me pause for a
second). I should mention that the comic hints at Grim being
fascinated by Mandy at a creepily early age... It's really quite
Oh yeah, and Billy Kincaid, from Spawn, makes a cameo. You know
Billy... The child murderer who drove an ice cream truck that
Spawn, in a most awesome act, impaled naked with a bunch of ice
cream sticks with an awesome message left on the corpse... Yeah,
he appears. What the fuck... So anyway, yeah, Grim proposes to
And that's when things start to get tasteless as all fuck... Oh
boy... I dunno how to set this up, so I'll just go and blurt it
NINE ELEVEN! THE SUNNUVA BITCH PUTS NINE ELEVEN IN HIS DUMBASS
STORY! Apparently, Mandy orchestrated 9/11 in an effort to kill
lots of people and start the War on Terror, which she planned...
THE FUCK?! YOU CAN'T EVEN ARGUE FOR THAT NO MATTER HOW ARTSY-FARTSY
YOU ARE! I DON'T CARE WHAT ARTISTIC DIRECTION YOU WANNA TAKE
YOUR DUMBASS COMIC IN, THAT'S IN-FUCKING-DEFENSIBLE!
On Bleedman's gallery, the comic is hidden by a splash page that
warns about the pages to "whiny people who are easily offended",
or something like that. Motherfucker, I am not the kind who is
easily offended. Hell, I offend others on a regular god damned
basis. It takes a LOT to offend me, but integrating your
characters into 9/11 like this (and the comic also implies Grim
was behind the Nazis, that famous photo of the Asian man with
the gun to his head, etc.) is so beyond tasteless and revolting,
that I do believe I would like to see harm done to you, as some
kind of karma deal. No, y'know what? I hope you get to
experience a tragedy that kills members of your own family. Mm-hm,
I do. Why? So that I can make a comic that involves said
tragedy, that integrates my characters into the events that took
your family members' lives, just so you get a taste of your own
Waterworld piss-drink! I know it was "just a joke", but I
This isn't something you joke about, or
write into your fucking Cartoon Network fanfiction! This isn't
pushing the envelope, this is just asinine! Howard Stern pushed
the envelope! This is an act of some na´ve, anti-social
shut-in, that has no concept of what you should and shouldn't
do, because the fuck has had so little contact with
flesh-and-blood people, he has no fathomable idea of what "tact"
is! Or of what you just fucking don't do! That whole plot
point was in such bad taste, I cannot describe it with words.
Go to hell.
Making it even worse was the jokes and cartoony imagery
surrounding it. Mandy's drawing, that planned out the attacks,
is probably what drove me as mad as I am. Normally I would just
be pissed, but those four panels on that one page have instilled
in me a rage that won't be going away for awhile! And making it
worse is how everyone seemed to kiss his ass over this shit, and
say how fucking BRAVE he was for doing it! This is going to
stretch this article out a great deal, but I want you to read
what Bleedman had to say about these pages, so you can know why
I want the mafia to break his fucking legs as bad as I do:
I felt a bit nervous when I started making these
pages. And I can truly understand if I have made some people
very upset over it .But at least hear me out..
I too am entitled to express my point of view.
I was just trying to find ways how I can relate the concept
of the characters with our real world.
I guess we'll start off with Mandy. What I love about Mandy
as a character is that she sees the real world, not some
idealistic "only good and justice prevails freedom for all
and love is everything screwed up" wonderland.
Although she's just a fictitous cartoon character, for me
she's someone I can trully relate in our world.
You can't really blame Mandy for what she did, she's only
doing her job as the Grim Reaper, sure she made the plans.
But that's what every Grim Reaper should do (remember the
movie Final Destination) At the same time Mandy is a
reincarnation of all evil, her existence is the source of
humanity's darkest and most cruel essence. While Billy on
the other hand and is a representation and a source of man's
stupidity .And because mankind welcomes both evil and
stupidity so willingly Mandy is able to carry out her plans.
In short, Mandy simply presented her ideas to mankind and
mankind simply accepted it with open arms.
( Because we am dumb and bad humans.)
And as for the natural disasters she came up, let's just say
she had an appointment with Mother Nature.
These things happen because I believe there is a Billy and a
Mandy in all of us, we can be stupid and evil, and with it
comes our bestest friend, The Grim Reaper.
We have no one but ourselves to blame.
A couple of themes I want to point out is... "Will humanity
ever learn?" ...I guess not.
Is Mother Earth pissed ? I guess so.
That's what I like about comics, add a pinch of idea based
from our real world. To help remind us of things and never
Things like our wounds, and I'm talking not just America's
wounds, I'm also talking about Iraq , Indonesia , Sri Lanka
and every other country that's facing hell.
So please look at it not just in your own nation's
perspective, but through other countries as well.
Try to look at the wounds through the eyes of the whole
world you self-centered bastards.
The wounds are painful and have yet to heal , well it
Cause it's only through these wounds that you can become
It's the only thing that makes you stronger.
Pain and suffering is part of life, it's what my pappy
These things happen and will continue to happen so you
better get used to it and face it you bunch of wuss.
The images I used were not intended as a mockery or a
tribute, but a slap in your face to remind you that life is
not all sugarpuffs and candycorns.
Life can be cruel, very ,very cruel. Life's a bitch, and so
If you feel offended, angry or pissed right now....well ,you
should be. If you feel the urge to email me concerning this
issue do so. Emails, hatemails, flamemails. You have every
Ok I was just kidding about the " Especially if you're a
wuss who whines a lot" thing on the warning page. Seriously,
If you have something to say about these pages positive or
negative, or that I'm a heartless dick, say it. You wanna
make a political issue out of this, knock yourselves out.
Please comment and spare your 2 cents.
God bless America.
Allah bless Iraq.
P.S. I took a big risk making these pages, and if I so
seriously give a horse shit about my reputation just so
people can love me and praise me I wouldn't bother posting
this in the first place. But I don't, so hate me, flame me.
However, I still give a damn about respecting other people's
feelings and opinions.
So I want to apologize to everyone I offended. I'll be
posting a poll on Deviant art whether these pages should
stay or not.
Technically the grim tales storyline can go on without it.
If Majority says to have them removed then so be it.
You people decide.
Rot in hell, you psycho! You're going to make light of the
worst tragedy in the history of an entire country because you wanna read deep, philosophical metaphors in a motherfucking
CHILDREN'S CARTOON?! There is not a "Billy and Mandy in all of
us", you sick sack of SHIT! God, that's like something someone
would say if they were doing a parody of you on a sketch comedy
I do believe I'll take you up on that "hate me, flame me" offer,
join a religion, and pray to that religion's highest deity that
you're beaten with a blunt instrument until even the Devil
himself cringes at the horrors I have wrought upon you! How's
that for a flame!?
And at that point, I stopped reading. All I can tell you is
that, later in the comic, Oogie Boogie appears, inexplicably
alive, and there's a fight between him and Minimandy. All I say
is fuck Bleedman in the ass until he lives up to his name.
There are only a select few things that you are not supposed to
make light of. 9/11 is pretty god damn high on that list.
There's more to this comic's insane story to mock, but as for
me, I am done!
...Okay, I had to go back to the comic... Really, I did, and it
actually gets crazier! There's tentacle powers, gore, incest
(seriously, Bleedman has eluded, inside the comic and out, that
Grim Jr. and Minimandy are gonna give a new meaning to the term
"all in the family"), and the Redeemer from Spawn shows up. What
the fucking hell...
It's hard to go on with this article after all that, but I
will... Although he is absolutely tactless and insane, Bleedman
is a pretty good artist, and that seems to make this comic
actually worse than it would've been. Why? Because if it was
poorly-drawn, I could dismiss this as some stupid kid's attempt
at getting attention or whatever. But the fact that an
experienced, competent artist is doing this knocks it up from
stupidity and lack of talent to complete and utter insanity.
Many of my comments on Bleedman (known to his family, and
possibly the FBI, as Vinson Ngo) have already been said, and
this article is a monstrosity as it is... However, I'd like to
reiterate that there is something seriously wrong with him.
Between his odd, loli-like characters, to his bizarre
fascination with dramatizing Cartoon Network shows, I suspect
Ngo has major issues many of us cannot begin to fathom. Hell, is
he even aware that little girls' skirts tend to hang downward,
due to gravity, or are all the skirts in his homeland lighter
than air? However, whatever may have made him this fucked up is
eclipsed, to me, by my complete and utter contempt for the man.
Not just for integrating 9/11 into his fanfiction-comic, but his
overall insanity. I cannot begin to comprehend how a man could
see parallels to life and humanity in a children's cartoon, or
why anyone would make a splash image with a 10-year-old-lookin'
girl wearing a grim reaper cloak with nothing underneath!
Totally a child molester...
someone's been hard at work studying their new
copy of "How To
Draw Manga: Pedophile Edition"
Despite the obvious and numerous reasons for hating him, this
man is ridiculously popular. He's actually the most watched
artist on DeviantART, if you can believe it. And isn't that just
the most ironically apt thing, considering that this man is a
sexual deviant. I have seen people defend him with fervor unseen
by most, though they are unable to even explain away the
There's more to tell, but that'll have to wait for part 2. Stay
tuned, folks, because in the next episode of The Bleedman
Chronicles, the author section will showcase some of his most
indisputably pedophiliac pictures! After seeing them, it will be
undeniable that this man finds children sexually attractive.
Undeniable. I cannot emphasize this enough:
Vinson "Bleedman" Ngo is a pedophile. There is nothing in the
world to refute this, and everything to support it. Ngo is a
pedophile, and a potential danger to children.
Vinson Ngo can roll over and die. How's that for a closing
Alex's AFTER Thoughts
For several days now, I've been trying to wrap my head around
this comic's storyline, and so far, every attempt has been met
with dismal failure. Darren Aronofsky could direct of remake of
Jacob's Ladder written by Carlton Mellick III, with a
blind alcoholic child as the director of photography, and the
resulting film would make more sense than Grim Tales From Down
Once I decided it was better not to waste my time pondering the
impossible, I turned my thoughts away from the comic itself and
began wondering how someone could come up with something like
this. Thankfully, the answer to that question was way more
obvious: Cocaine. Lots of it.
Although it goes against my nature, I assure you I'm being
extremely kind in my assumption that drugs had a part to play in
Bleedman's creative process. I say this because, had he not
been high as a kite while planning, drawing, and publishing this
comic, then sweet Lord Jesus, why is this man not locked up in
some sort of facility where I'm assured he has no chance of
harming me or the people I love. I think most of the artists
responsible for the webcomics we review in Comic Release are
crazy to the extent where they might hear voices that aren't
there and stare at walls in dark rooms for hours until they
suddenly break out laughing hysterically, but for the most part,
they're probably harmless unless provoked. Bleedman, on the
other hand, strikes me as being the kind of crazy where no one
is really surprised when they unmask the psychotic killer who
just dismembered a family of five with a chainsaw and see his
grinning face staring back at them.
Just imagine, for a moment, what must be going through his head
as he writes this comic. I think it might go a little something
"Here we go, alright, awesome comic time, okay, so like,
Grim Jr. and Minimandy are walking through his cave, okay, but
the cave is HELL, and suddenly this evil demon guy from
Spawn jumps out but holy shit then Spawn jumps out and
he's fighting him it's oh my god we cut to this
awesome flashback and there's this SICK rave/party/whatever
at Halloween Town and JACK FUCKING SKELLINGTON is there and
ALL this crazy shit happens then we cut to ANOTHER flashback
and Billy DIES IT'S SO HARDCORE and then there's this
shit about 9/11 and WAR and then Oogie Boogie shitbusts in and
kidnaps Grim Jr. and Minimandy JUST LOSES IT and there's
NAZIS and then this guy totally kills all these tons
And it just goes on like that, until Bleedman passes out from
exhaustion, then wakes up two days later in a pool of his own
puke, with a wrecked minivan in his front yard and three dead
preteen girls tied up in his closet.
After seeing what unspeakable horrors this man's mind is capable
of producing (with the aid of illegal substances or not), I can
only imagine what kind of twisted crossover comic awaits us in
the next part of The Bleedman Chronicles. This is a total shot
in the dark, but I'm guessing it's going to be based around
Hello Kitty, except it's going to be all EXTREME and
loaded up with so much violence that it destroys the brain cells
of anyone who uses logic when they think of things that should
"Okay, okay, so like, Hello Kitty is talking with her friend
Miffy, okay, and they're talking, talking, and then BAM!
Hello Kitty gets all pissed and rips Miffy's head off and
there's this AWESOME blood geyser that rockets into the
sky and then all these like MILLIONS of zombies show up and
Hello Kitty is all 'DIE YOU FUCKING ZOMBIES!!' and she
whips out this Uzi and starts blowing 'em away and ALL
this crazy shit is happening and then this humungous demon
serpent SHOOTS out of the ground and Hello Kitty jumps on
its head and she's controlling it right, and it flies over the
city and there's all this lightning and Hello Kitty is pumping
THOUSANDS of rounds into these zombies and goddamn it's so
intense and then there's SUPER close-up of Hello Kitty's
face and you can see all this stuff burning in her eyes and then
she rips off her underwear and starts shitting out nuclear
bombs all over the city and everyone and everything is
BURNING then suddenly this MASSIVE portal to HELL opens up and
Daffy Duck jumps out but then he tears his face off and oh my
god it's Hitler's face and Hitler vomits up all this acid
ALL OVER the zombies and they're all melting and then Spawn
teleports in and kicks over a building and runs over and
high-fives Hitler and he's all like 'FUCK YEAH HITLER WE SAVED
CHRISTMAS!!!' but then all these other zombies roll up
and they're riding these wicked bikes made out of the
skulls of everyone who died in every terrorist attack EVER
and then Hello Kitty screams and pulls out this fucking awesome
sword and then she cuts like fifty zombies in half while
HOLY SHIT I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE!"
"God bless America" is right, Bleedman.
'Till next time!