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Episode 02: "Secrets of the Heart" - Part 2
(A 'DragonBall Z' fanfiction by
Welcome back, devoted reader. If you're reading this
after having viewed Part 1 of this fanfiction, then you're
either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid (I'm guessing
it's the second one). Don't think for a moment that things
are going to get any better in the second half of this DBZ
romance gone so very wrong, for I sincerely promise you that
they don't. Or perhaps I'm just being too cynical... Maybe,
in reality, I'm mocking a brilliant example of literary
excellence and I'm just too narrow-minded to see it! And
maybe, just maybe, if I believe hard enough, I'll be taking
a stroll through the forest one day and happen to save a
magical fairy from certain doom at the hands of an evil
goblin and, as a reward for my heroics, she'll cast a spell
that turns all the neighbor's dogs' crap in my yard into
piles of gold and jewels! That sure would be swell.
What follows is the continuation of last episode's featured
fanfiction, written by everybody's favorite "mad gangsta"
fanfiction writer, Mz D. As I understand it, Bra has
affections for Pan who has affections for Trunks who has
affections for ditzy college girls, and no one has any idea
what anyone else is feeling for them.
Wait a minute, these winding chains of unrequited love... I
seem to recall hearing that exact same premise for a story
somewhere before, but I can't remember where... Oh, that's
right. It was in EVERY GODDAMN ROMANCE NOVEL EVER WRITTEN!!
To be fair, though, I think using characters from an anime
series is a twist that few professional romance novelists
would dare touch. Plus, the whole lesbian thing is somewhat
original (if you can overlook all those "alternative"
romance novels... which are actually quite plentiful
nowadays, I guess).
In any case, if you're interested in finding out how this
mad, mad love affaire concludes, then bust a move on down
the page and check out my review for Part 2 of "Secrets of
Oh yeah, and just like last time, the original story is in
red text while my
commentary is in white text. Aren't you glad I told
that up front and saved you the 0.6 seconds it would have
taken to figure that out on your own, assuming the unlikely
scenario that you'd forgotten how the color code works since
reading Episode #1? You're welcome, friend.
Trunks turned up in the
afternoon just as expected.
Two hours late and stoned off his ass.
After all Bra's and Pan's efforts
he barely registered the 1/4 Saiyan.
He was too eager to fight his father. He gave a glance at
the two girls
and flew off. He didn't even notice the makeover.
"Oh Bra what did I do wrong." Pan sobbed in Bra's bedroom.
Bra: Well, for one thing, you listened to me.
"I did warn you it might take more
than a dress and make-up to
convince him of your adulthood." Said Bra gently.
You have to swear more, and show an interest in mundane
household upkeep, and complain about your boss not giving
you enough time to finish that cost-benefit analysis of the
Bra let Pan cry on her shoulder.
Not caring that her white blouse was
getting smudge marks on it.
"Stay for dinner. He might notice you then." Bra said. She
wanted to spend more time with Pan.
So she's giving her more chances to become involved
with her brother and ultimately leave her for good? Boy, Bra
really needs to start thinking about the long-term
consequences of her actions.
Pan sniffed back her tears. "Bra
you're such a good friend." She then
noticed her top.
"Oh no my mascara and everything has marked your blouse."
Pan: That's weird... Why does the stain spell out "The
Reaper Awaits You" backwards?
"Don't worry about it Pan. I've got
others." Bra said patting her
"We have to make a plan." Pan said firmly. "Trunks will
That seems like a somewhat oversimplified plan, but okay...
"Well if we clean you up, you'll be
your pretty self in no time." Bra
brushed a tear from her cheek. She wanted to kiss those
cheeks to take
all their pain away.
"I'll start up an adult conversation with him." Pan said
And I'm sure he'll fall madly in love with you once he hears
your views on the foreign trade policies.
"Yeah Pan what can you talk about?"
Bra looked at her smugly. She knew
how immature her brother could be.
"Umm.... his love life.....uh no." Pan's eyebrows sank into
frown. "The weather.. oh lame. Oh Bra quit laughing and
help." Bra was
holding back her giggles. Her friend was just too cute.
This whole fanfiction is too cute, and by "cute" I of
course mean asinine. We know that Pan is naïve and
inexperienced as far as dating goes, so rather than beating
that fact into the ground with a sledgehammer and
sugar-coating the hell out of everything to the point that
it's like a kitten shooting you in the face with a hunting
rifle full of glitter and rainbows, how about you try
actually advancing the story and wrap up this piece-of-shit
fic before I completely give up on searching for any
redeeming factors about it and throw my computer into the
"I think in all honesty you should
just be yourself." Bra tried to
look serious. Pan was a lost cause. The hole in her heart
"You should just go spar with him." Bra said smiling. Pan
...Ready to kick Bra right in the stomach for making such a
"Hey!" Bra grabbed her arm. "Don't
fight in the dress get back into
Girl, get ghetto on his trippin' ass!
Pan fumbled the dress over her
head. Pulling her jeans and orange
t-shirt on instead.
Bra tried not to watch but she couldn't help it.
Are girls really this laid back about getting naked in front
of each other? I don't think I've even seen most of my
friends without a shirt on, but if this fanfiction holds any
truth, then every girl on earth could recount what her
friends look like nude with such detail that a police sketch
artist could produce drawings accurate enough to pass as
Pan flew out the window shouting a
challenge to Trunks. Bra walked
out the back. Not really in the mood to fly. Trunks had
heard her. He
accepted the challenge. He was keen to see what level the
girl was at.
So are these supposed to be song lyrics, or is Mz D just
unaware of the existence of the word "and"?
'Trunks is completely oblivious to
her crush.' Bra thought.
Ah, yes, we've clearly established that by now.
"So how's my princess?"
Bra turned to her father and smiled. He was only really nice
and her mother. That was only when no-one was looking.
Vegeta gets a lot more physical in public for the sake of
keeping up appearances.
"Not too bad Daddy." She tried to
smile sweetly but it must have
It always looks strained when Bra tries to do something that
doesn't involve screaming or buying stuff.
"You look after yourself. Don't
form bonds that can't be returned." He
swept some hair from her eyes and walked away.
Bra wasn't sure what he meant. It didn't concern her just
Don't worry folks. Vegeta's cryptic, fortune-cookie-esque
advice will make sense to her later, when she needs to
figure out how to beat the seemingly-invincible boss villain
during the film's climax.
Bra watched Pan charge Trunks. Her
face was flushed with the fight.
She couldn't help but feel the flutter in her heart. Trunks
Pan and she came tumbling down to the ground. There was a
loud slam as
she hit the dirt.
Now this is romance!
"Pan!" Bra shouted flying over to
her. She was okay. She only had
Oh, is that all? Pssh, what a baby.
"Trunks you moron, stop fighting to
win." Bra hit her brother across
his head. "You can be such a jerk!"
"Ow. Quit it ! That was an honest mistake." Trunks rubbed
Whoa! Jeez! I don't want to read about that!
"I thought she would have ducked or
"idiot!" Bra hit him again. Trunks blocked most of her
attacks but Bra
was just so angry with him.
"Man what's got into you Bra. You'd think I'd hit your lover
something." Trunks teased.
Subtle hints should be whispered, not carved into the back
of your eyelids with a Bowie knife.
Bra's colour drained from her face.
"Shut up pervert!" She grabbed Pan and flew her to the
Or rather, the tool shed in the backyard Bra liked to call
the "infirmary" because she found some needles in there one
Muttering about her jerk brother.
She lay Pan down. She was still awake but a bit
In other words, her normal self.
"Trunks." She said to Bra.
"Oh great." Bra grumbled.
Bra: I'm all for fooling around but I hate this
"Trunks I have to tell you...." Pan
grabbed Bra's slender hand.
Pan: I... I... I want my makeup kit back. I'm sorry, but
you're just going to have to buy your own.
"No you don't tell me." Bra tried
to pull away but Pan was a lot
stronger than her.
"Please..." Pan had tears in her eyes she pulled Bra closer.
she smells so sweet.' Bra closed her eyes breathing in the
Man, Bra sure likes the smell BO and dirt.
"Oh Pan, not like this." She
touched her head.
"I. . . I. . Bra?" Pan had finally come into focus. She was
face with Bra. Their lips were close to touching. Bra could
Suddenly, a deafening scream of sheer terror rang out over
the Briefs' estate.
She was still held by Pan tightly.
"Um.. you got hit real hard by my idiot brother." Bra tried
"Did you ever think to stop me." Pan asked her face flushed.
I see Mz D still hasn't mastered using those question marks
"If you haven't noticed quarter
Saiyan or not you're stronger than
me." Bra smiled, Pan had just noticed how tightly she had
"Oh geez I'm sorry Bra." She released her grip.
Heh, good thing she didn't grab her by the neck.
Bra moved her wrists trying to get
her circulation going.
"I'm so embarrassed Bra."
"Don't be. It's not your fault." She smiled kindly.
Bra giggled. Her friend was just too cute!
Pan sat up but still felt a bit
"I really thought you were Trunks. You both have the same
"And the same long, sexy lashes, and the same beautiful
shade of eye shadow, and the same..."
This time Bra blushed. "Thanks I
"Lets go back and tell Trunks I'm okay." Pan stood up.
Watch out for the little spiny fence, kids.
Outside Trunks was leaning against the fence. He was
some college girls.
"Oh yeah, that's my little sis and her friend. I'm such a
cool guy I
let them hang with me sometimes."
Because chicks always dig guys who hang around with little
The girls giggled as they watched Bra and Pan walking over.
"That is so cool of you." Simpered the blonde.
"Such a caring big brother." Agreed the brunette.
Trunks: Heh, yeah, I totally just gave my little sister's
friend a concussion before you came by. Y'know, because I'm
a cool guy like that. So, what are you foxy ladies doin'
"Well girls what can I say I am the best big brother."
Bra snorted and was about to say something when Pan stopped
Pan: No, Bra. Making witty quips to embarrass someone acting
boastful is not the way of anime characters.
"Wow Trunks you must work out as well." The blonde drooled.
"Yeah that I do." Trunks was now lost in testosterone
I guess they'll hand over a Ph.D. to just about anybody
"You have to come to the club tonight. Me and Julie are
going to be
there shaking our groove thing!"
Whoa, the fanfic just time-traveled back to the 1970's.
"Sure thing girls. Listen me and my friend Goten we'd love
to meet up
with you and do a double date."
"Is Goten as cute as you?" Asked the brunette.
If by "cute" you mean "shallow and self-absorbed" then no,
"Not really, but he works out as well. I've heard some
people say he's
Bra turned Pan away from the scene.
Thank God. I don't think my stomach could have handled much
more of that.
"Don't worry about the tarts. He talks to those kind all the
Bra whispered to Pan.
Pan was shaking a little. Bra carefully took her away from
Trying her best to look casual.
The horrors of that day would haunt Pan for many years after
In the kitchen Pan finally cracked and started sobbing. Bra
tight wishing she could make her pain go away.
Anything to get Pan to shut the hell up.
She kissed her forehead, Pan whimpered.
"You're such a good friend." Pan said quietly.
Oh the grim irony.
Bra just smiled and held her. She held back the urges to do
hold her. She needed to kiss her to tell her she was loved.
held her close listening to her heartbeat she understood
was in love with Pan.
*GASP* OH MY GOD I TOTALLY DIDN'T SEE THAT
Her sense of adventure, her love of fighting. Hell she even
The love of another's bandana is the truest love of all.
It's nice to see that Mz D has expanded his fashion
vocabulary since Part 1, too. If only he can figure out
where that question mark key is, we'll be all set.
She kissed her forehead again. Pan wasn't in any mood
for her confession. For now she had to be a friend.
"Do you want some hot chocolate?" Bra said.
Bra: (thinking) Hot chocolate!? What the hell was I
thinking! It's 90 degrees outside!
Pan nodded. "With marshmallows." She wiped her sleeve across
So womanly and demure... It's easy to see where Bra's
infatuation comes from.
"Here use a hanky." Bra handed her friend the box of
Said a mysterious, disembodied voice.
Bra made herself busy trying not to think too hard about
She watched her drink the hot drink. She smiled when she
you for the fifth time.
Bra giggled. Her friend was just too cute!
Bra chatted away about her college. She spoke of how far
ahead she was
with her classes compared to other sixteen year olds. She
mention Trunks instead she talked about her father and his
Bra: And, and this one time... Hahaha... And this one time,
he killed an entire stadium full of innocent people! Hahahaha, isn't that
How he was a big softie really. It made Pan laugh when she
how she could get her father to do anything. Eventually Pan
to her cheery self. They listened to Bra's J-pop and danced
Taking a cue from Trunks' dates, they decided to shake their
Bra tried to keep her hands to herself. Unfortunately she
but brush against Pan.
Bra's planning to make her molestation gradual so as to lull
Pan into a false sense of security.
Luckily Pan hadn't noticed and thought it part of the fun.
hips with Bra which made her laugh. Before they knew it they
in hand dancing. They levitated off the ground spinning and
Within seconds there was vomit everywhere.
When the album reached a slow ballad the girls held each
Whoa now, I've listened to my fair share of J-Pop, and the
slowest that music ever gets is still more intense than
something remixed by Darude on a caffeine high.
Bra felt her head rest on Pan's shoulder. She knew that when
was over nothing would change. The music stopped but the
girls still held
Oh, I didn't know she literally meant nothing would
Bra reluctantly broke the embrace and they went back to the
"Lets get you dolled up for dinner." Bra said in an effort
"Dolled up"? Now we're in the 1950's! This crazy fanfic is
all over the map!
"I dunno he never noticed last time." Pan replied. She
looked like she
would cry again.
"Don't give up Pan. We'll give Trunks one last chance to
Bra: Then it's his ass! Glock-glock, motherfucker.
Bra touched her shoulder. Pan grabbed her hand and squeezed
"I know we don't hang out that much." She said to Bra
looking in her
eyes. "But you have been really good to me. I don't know how
I guess it is pretty amazing that Bra actually did something
for another person, even if it was ultimately for selfish
"You don't need to thank me really." Bra tried to shrug it
She picked up the hair brush. Pulling Pan into the chair she
brushing out the knots.
This entire fic is nothing but awkward lesbian undertones
set to scenes depicting various parties attempting to make
Pan less hideous.
"Your hair is really soft. If a bit messy." Bra let her
down the tangled mess.
"I don't see the point in styling it." Pan said.
"Well I'll make your hair as gorgeous as it should be."
Fashion consultant, makeup artist, cook, hair stylist... Is
there anything Bra can't do? Aside from not acting
bossy and self-serving for two minutes, I mean.
Finally it was time for dinner. Bra had found it hard not to
Pan. Every inch of her body had screamed at her to do it.
Sometimes, in the dead of the night, she could still hear
those screams. Those awful, inhuman screams...
She could just steal a kiss. It would be Pan's first, it
be right. Plus there was the added danger that Pan might get
mad and hit her.
Yes yes, the pros and cons are certainly many and must be
given due consideration. In the meantime, just do something!
Bra sat next to Pan and gave her an encouraging smile. She
gorgeous, her hair was now up. It helped with the more adult
couldn't help staring at Pan.
If I was Pan, Bra would be creeping me the fuck out by now.
This isn't a schoolgirl crush, this is the type of obsession
that leads to late-night phone calls of heavy breathing and
small pets winding up in slow cookers on the stove.
It would be really hard for her if Trunks did notice her. If
Bra had horrible visions of being maid of honour to their
Those ugly dresses maids of honor have to wear would scare
Getting drunk and confessing her love. By being known by
children as 'that crazy aunt.'
Sounds like the name of a sitcom (and one that I would
watch, might I add).
Bra tried to shake the thoughts from her mind.
Trunks entered with Vegeta.
Vegeta: (thinking) Christ, another night at home with the
wife and kids. Alright, put on a smile... That's it... Mask
the hurting... Everybody's happy....
He chatted to Pan and Bra about the girls he had met. Not
he comment on how pretty or grown up Pan looked. Bulma came
through with some of the meal.
For some reason, I always pictured Bra's family eating
frozen dinners in front of the TV with no one talking for
fear that a violent argument might erupt at any moment.
She made a point of complementing Pan. Bra looked to her
was too interested in the food.
Pan looked pale even under the layer of foundation and
reached out and grasped her hand under the table.
Bra: Pan? Are you wearing mittens? Whoops, sorry Trunks!
Pan smiled at her and cheered up a little. She began eating
thoughts of Trunks seemed to go. Bra happy that she was
in as well.
The question marks must have called up the commas and
invited them to the rave down the street.
"Woman this is the least disgusting meal you've made."
Vegeta said to
I'm so glad Vegeta is in this story. His presence might just
be the only genuinely enjoyable thing about this fanfiction.
"Thanks Vegeta... I think." Bulma muttered.
Pan not quite use to this kind of talk gave Bra a shocked
just shrugged. She couldn't help it if this was her fathers
How has this family not been on Jerry Springer by now?
Bra slipped her foot out of her slipper. She had to touch
She had to hint to her how she felt.
And what better way to do that then playing footsies during
dinner with your family right there.
She reached out to where Pan sat unaware. Running her sole
her shin. Pan stopped eating and looked directly at Trunks.
All he was
interested in was the food.
Trunks: Mmm... Mm'mm! Mmmmm'MM! Damn! This dinner is SO
good! I just... I can't get over how... MMMM! Son of a bitch
this is a fine meal! I mean WOW! This is like the best
dinner anyone has ever had! MMMMMMM!! It's SO GOOD! I am
serious! It's like I suddenly feel betrayed by everything
else I've ever eaten now! It's just THAT GOOD!
Bra sighed a little but kept her attention on Pan. She had
her eating and was concentrating on Pan. She continued
full concentration on Pan.
If Bra concentrates on Pan any harder, somebody's head is
going to explode.
When the main meal was over. The pudding was brought out.
grabbed a large bowl and left to watch the TV. This was
she swept her foot back to Pan. Pan nearly choked on her
Pan: Gack! What the hell did Bulma put in this!?
She looked at Vegeta he was now in an argument with Bulma
topping. Pan felt the feeling on her leg again. She turned
Bra smiled at her hopefully. Pan looked a little shocked but
didn't turn away.
Just like a deer in the headlights. We've all been there, Pan.
The dark haired girl studied Bra for what seemed to her as
Then Bra felt something tickling her leg. It was Pan's foot.
Dun dun duuuuuun! New plot twists await the reader at every
Bra almost squealed with joy, but she tried to contain her
decided to explore further and swept up Pan's dress.
Ooooh! Now we're entering TV-PG territory...
Pan smiled at her and her legs opened slightly. Staring into
others eyes Bra's heart was beating fast. The ache in her
gone. Her foot was at Pan's thigh and the warmth of Pan's
was near her
Finally, all the thirteen-year-old boys reading this story
are rewarded for their patience with the sweet, sweet
They were interrupted though.
Huh? By wha--
"WILL YOU TWO TAKE IT UPSTAIRS!!"
GAAAHHHH!!! Holy shit! That was penis-softeningly scary!
Wow, sorry kids, guess you just wasted the last half hour
Vegeta shouted at them.
"What are you talking about Vegeta?" Bulma asked unsure
turn in situation. Both girls were sitting quietly she
But Vegeta, being the master "assessor of situations" that
he is, immediately picked up on what was going on beneath
the table. Or maybe he just has a mirror tied to his shoe.
Pan and Bra were now a deep crimson.
"For a genius you really are an idiot." Snarled Vegeta.
Way to say what we were all thinking.
"Hey don't talk to me like that!" Bulma yelled back.
Bra grabbed Pan's hand and rushed her away. Her father
seemed to have
accepted this situation but sometimes Bra's mother was
Vegeta sure has some strange ways of "accepting" things.
They escaped to Bra's room. Pan looked at Bra unsure what to
Yeah, that would be a pretty awkward moment right there.
"I thought it was Trunks." She gasped finally.
Bra held her breath she couldn't speak.
"I didn't want him. I saw that when I thought he was playing
Pan's face was still flushed.
The hell!? So she goes from having a major crush on him to
wanting to have nothing to do with him just like that!?
That's... Pretty realistic, sadly.
"I didn't know till this morning Pan." Bra confessed. "I
love.... I'm not sure."
"Never been in love before?" Pan asked, she thought Bra an
Just because you give your body to someone doesn't mean it's
"Uh... no I've never felt like this for a guy." Bra grew
"Good because I think it's love too." Pan took Bra's into a
They could hear Bra's Mom shouting as she finally figured it
"THEY DID WHAT!!!"
"LEAVE THEM BE WOMAN!!" Vegeta was protecting them.
Funny, I wouldn't have pictured Vegeta as being the
considerate, understanding kind of father Mz D seems to
think he would be.
"Let's go somewhere more private." Bra said anxiously. They
other's hands and flew out the nearest open window.
This Summer... Return to Neverland... And Bring a Lesbian
It was just in time Bulma had escaped Vegeta and was barging
up the stairs to
confront the girls.
"WHERE THE HELL DID THEY GO!!" Bulma screamed as she saw the
WHERE THE HELL ARE YOUR QUESTION MARKS?!?
"Congratulations Woman, looks like you've scared them."
"They'll come back won't they?" Bulma asked her husband.
Vegeta just shrugged. "When they're ready."
Vegeta: Besides, it's not that bad. So what if one of our
kids is gay! We still have-- Oh. Right.
The sun had already set and the stars were beginning to come
watched Bra's expression of joy, it matched her own.
"Now we can grow up and not shave our legs and attend pride
parades and watch The Ellen DeGeneres Show!"
"I thought I would be the crazy aunt if you and Trunks got
Bra said finally.
Pan laughed at her. "You think some silly things."
"So Pan ever been kissed?" Bra asked coyly.
*sigh* Here we go....
Pan blushed again. "You know the answer." She replied.
Pan: The world of immoral depravity in which you live is a
mystery to me.
Bra leaned in her eyes half closed. Watching Pan's eyes for
acceptance, her love.
Pan sat still waiting not knowing what to expected.
When suddenly, Jason Voorhees from 'Friday the 13th' busts in and
carves them up like a couple of Thanksgiving turkeys! Yeah!!
What a great ending! Mz D should have totally gotten me on
board as a story consultant for this fic.
Their lips touched and for a split second both girls froze.
mouths moved against each other. They found themselves lost
moment. Pan held Bra close wishing herself to be like this
Bra slipped in her tongue tasting Pan's sweet mouth.
The residue of Bulma's cooking had made it something other
than sweet, however.
It got a soft groan from Pan. She moved her tongue against
Bra's invasive one.
When they broke they were overcome with emotions.
Horror, fear, disgust, unremitting shame...
"Wow." Gasped Bra. "I've never been
kissed like that."
"I was okay?" Pan asked. Bra giggled gently.
Her friend was just too cute!
"I'm not sure. I think I might need
a few more kisses just to
"Oh yeah!?" Pan jumped on Bra this time. Her confidence had
she was more in control.
I think we can safely assume that Pan will be the butch in
"Oh you're going to be a handful."
Said Bra in between kisses. Pan
silenced her with another kiss. The two lovers explored each
Trunks: Mmm'mm! Wow! Holy crap! This breakfast is
excellent! It's just so... I don't even... MMMMM!
Delicious! This is like the best breakfast EVER! It's just
They knew when they went back they
would have some
explaining to do. That could wait. Just now it was only
they cared about. It was as if they were the only beings in
And, as expected, we wrap up this by-the-book teenage
romance story with an appropriately contrived and derivative
ending. If nothing else, I suppose it can at least be said
that the fic was consistent right up to the finish.
I don't know about you, but I thought that was thrilling. No,
seriously! The spellbinding romance, the gripping drama, the...
umm... words! All those words... So very many of them...
Alright, so maybe I was mostly just bored stiff. This fanfic
makes at least one major mistake by taking what should have been
a five-page story and turning it into a 20+ page epic through
the use of meaningless buildup and repeated scenarios. The "Bra
gussies up Pan > Pan gets rejected > Bra comforts Pan and
suspects her own homosexuality" formula was played out more
times than it should have been, and each time it did very little
to advance the plot in any significant way. The only reason it
was even there was to artificially increase the length of this
too-simple story which otherwise couldn't have stood up on its
own. And don't think I'm unaware of the irony of a DBZ fanfic
being overly drawn-out due to pointless filler material.
Speaking of the series this fic is based on, that brings me to
my second gripe... Where was all the frigging fighting!? I don't
see the point of writing a fanfiction for a fighting anime that
contains virtually no fighting whatsoever. One tiny scuffle that
ends in a single punch is just bullshit. And if you are going to
change genres and write a romance story for such a series, then
at least pretend like you know what the hell you're doing behind
a keyboard and have it star two characters who were actually
romantically involved, or at least could have conceivably
been romantically involved. A Bra/Pan pairing just doesn't make
any sense no matter how you approach it. Next thing you know,
people are going to start coming up with Chaozu/Oolong slash.
Oh good GOD does ever bring a fun mental picture to mind. OK,
wow, I'm seriously going to have to huff the SHIT out of a can
of paint before I can forcibly eject that image from my
head. Aaah, ew... Son of a bitch!
Anyway, what matters is that the fic is finally over, and I
think anyone who read it is now a little wiser about the dangers
of fanfiction thanks to my commentary. Like I've said before,
the more you know about something, the more you know about how
to defend yourself against it. If you'd like to learn even more
about protecting you and your family from the ever-present
threat that is bad anime fanfiction, then tune in next time when
I'll make an example of another fanfic that the world would be
just a little bit better without. Until then, thanks for
reading. And thanks to Mz D for his, uh, "contribution" to the
site. So long 'D, and may your freestyle rapping career be more
successful than your fanfiction. Peace out, homeslice.