Frequently Asked Questions

 

Last updated: 4/07/2008

 

If you're like most Project AFTER readers, then your initial reaction to many areas of this site is complete and utter bewilderment, possibly mixed with varying degrees of fear. This is entirely understandable, given the... "unorthodox" nature of this site, however brilliantly designed it may be. I can't teach my readers anything if they're overcome by confusion, though, and that's why I always encourage any curious visitors of the site to ask me about whatever it is they're uncertain of.

However, as much as I love to enlighten those seeking answers, as the mastermind behind the exquisite model of web-based genius that is Project AFTER, I'm usually quite busy with other matters, and my time to answer questions is limited. That's why I felt it was time to build a page for answering the most frequently asked questions I receive from readers, to save you all from the embarrassment of coming to me with yet another stupid question (yes, there is such a thing).

Below, you'll find a list of  the most common queries I've been asked over the years, as well as my usual response, presented in a handy Q&A format (the 'Q' stands for Quantum Leap, as in the hit 1990's TV series, while the 'A' stands for Avocado, as in the base ingredient for delicious guacamole). Please check below to see if there is already an answer to your question before you send me an e-mail asking it, as this will possibly help prevent additional messages piling up in my inbox that distract me from all the supportive and uplifting fanmail that my readers send me.

By the way, could guys please send me more than like one piece of fanmail every six months so that I have an excuse for taking so long to get back to the people who ask me questions?


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Q: What are the preferred system settings for this site?
A: Project AFTER is best viewed in Internet Explorer 6.0 or above, with style sheets enabled, with a screen resolution of 800x600 or higher. Although I do my best to ensure the site can be viewed in as many different browsers as possible, I can't guarantee that everything will display exactly as it should unless you're using IE. If that isn't an option, then Mozilla Firefox is a decent alternative.

 

Q: What's the purpose of this site, anyway? Why is it your mission to oppose fanfiction?
A: They say that necessity is the mother of all invention, and Project AFTER was born because I saw a world where no one was willing to take a stand and face the growing threat of bad fanfiction. Everyone needs a cause to keep them going in today's world, and I believe that mine is to dedicate my life to combating the menace of horrible spelling, ridiculous storylines laden with plot holes, nauseatingly dumb romantic parings, and warped tales of all manners fouling the names of our most beloved fictional characters. Until the world comes to understand how serious the threat of fanfiction is, I can only continue my life's work to save as many unsuspecting people as I can.

Q: What's so special about anime fanfiction, though? Aren't there also a ton of horrible Harry Potter and X-Files fanfics out there?
A: Indeed there are. However, I've opted to have this site focus primarily on anime fanfiction for a couple of reasons... First off, the authors who focus solely on anime for their source material make up one of the largest and most rapidly growing fanfic communities on the internet, and yet, the vast majority of what they produce is still complete garbage. This makes for a lot of potential material to feature on Project AFTER, while still allowing me to stick to a single type of fanfiction and give the site a more specific theme. It's also slightly less painful for me to be able to stick to trolling just one section of FanFiction.net and not have to subject myself to the horrors of stories that ruin other mediums of entertainment.

Q: Don't you feel like a soulless monster for tearing apart something that somebody worked really hard to write? And besides, is it even legal?
A: I have trouble believing in the myth that fanfiction authors actually work hard on anything they write. If they were really serious about crafting a detailed, soul stirring work of fiction, then why the hell didn't they even bother to think up their own characters and settings instead of stealing someone else's? And even if I am crushing a few dreams with each fanfic review I write, it's the fault of the authors for contributing to the growing menace to society that is bad fanfiction. If anything, I'm doing these writers a favor by dismantling their foolish illusions that they have talent, saving them from a wasted future spent producing insipid, poorly-conceived drivel that no one with half a brain will ever bother to read.

Q: Okay, so your sense of morality is really screwed up, blah blah blah, whatever. But is mocking fanfiction legal?
A: If you want to get technical, then fanfiction itself isn't even entirely legal to begin with. But thanks to the fact that no one who actually knows anything about copyright laws gives half a shit, nerds continue to weave epic tales involving characters from their favorite shows and games with no attempted lawsuits to speak of. I would imagine fanfiction mockeries fall into a similar legal gray area. That having been said, if anybody wants to try and drag me into court for making jokes at the expense of their Pokémon gangbang snuff fic, then I say go for it.

 

Q: What's the difference between a regular episode of PA and a "Special" episode?
A: While they may seem picked at random, I actually have fairly strict guidelines for the fanfics that are featured in episodes: They have to be based on an anime series, they have to be written in a certain style, they have to be a certain length, etc. Specials are simply mockeries of miscellaneous stories or articles that I wanted to make fun of, but didn't fit the criteria to be in a normal episode for whatever reason. As for why Specials get their own section, it's a clever way of dispersing the content to create the illusion that this site has more features than it actually does.

Q: How do you find all this horrible fanfiction?
A: I honestly don't know how anyone could not find it. Visit any fanfiction site out there and just browse through their archives for half an hour or so. If you can go that long without coming across at least one or two stories that are complete shit, then you either have impeccable luck, or the lowest standards of any human being I've ever known. Bad fanfiction is everywhere. Finding the really terrible stuff is just a matter of patience (though it doesn't take as much as you might think).

Q: I found a really awful fanfic that I think you should feature on the site. Can I send it to you?
A: By all means, I'm always open to submissions for any horrid fanficery my readers may come across. If you find a fanfic you think is bad enough to become a victim of my irrational hatred, then just send me an e-mail with a link to the story included. If you'd rather send me the fanfic directly, then just attach a .txt, .doc, or .wps copy of the fic to your message and make sure that the author's name and any other necessary info like that is included. Please don't copy the fanfiction into the body of the e-mail itself, though.

Q: I'm a hot-shot comedy writer who's ready to make his debut on the internet! If I send you something I wrote, will you put it up on the site?
A: Hahahaha...! Fat chance, asshole! Actually, the odds of me accepting any new original material are pretty slim since I've already got enough regular features going on the site as it is, and I'd rather focus on adding to those instead of cluttering the place up with a bunch of miscellaneous crap. However, I am always willing to accept new guest editorials and guest fanfiction mockeries. You don't even have to have any real credentials to send me something so long as you can write worth a damn. Check out the Contact page for more information on how to submit your work.

Q: Will you post a link to my website on your Links page?
A: It all depends on the content and quality of your website. As long as it isn't some piece-of-shit Geocities webpage you threw together in ten minutes, then feel free to e-mail me a link. I'll look it over, then let you know whether or not your site is cool enough to be mentioned on a totally hip online hangout like PA.

Q: How come some of the episodes and other pages are missing? I remember reading a particular feature on the old site, but now I don't see it up there.
A: Since July of 2006, the site has been going through a sort of reconstruction process where everything is being rewritten and improved, one page at a time. A busy schedule has kept me from putting everything back up as quickly as I had originally planned, but I'm still working hard to get all the old pages upgraded and ready for reposting on the site. It may take some time, but everything that was on the old site will eventually be back online, better than it was before.

Q: When can we see our child again?
A: When I see my goddamn money on the table in front of me, as was discussed! Remember that, dumbshit? Apparently not. No, apparently you're a retard who can't hear worth shit, otherwise you would have caught the part where I said NO DAMN COPS! If you try to pull any shit with me even one more time--ONE more time--I swear I'm putting a fucking bullet in that little brat's skull. You seriously do not want to fuck with me at this point! I am done with the bullshit!

Q: Whatever happened to the old Project AFTER Forums? Are they still online?
A: As a matter of fact, they are. After they officially closed down in early 2006, I decided to continue paying the subscription fee to keep all the old posts (or at least those that survived the infamous "ezBoard attack") online, for archival purposes. If you want to take a stroll down memory lane or just find out what the hottest anime and gaming gossip amongst a bunch of shut-in geeks was back in 2004, you can read through what's left of the old forums right here.

Q: Back on the old website, there used to be a title on the Other Features page called 'Tokyo Shopping Spree' that was supposedly "coming soon" for like two years, but never appeared on the site. What was up with that?
A: When I first began building the site, I had ideas for a couple of features that I hadn't started writing yet, one of which was called "Tokyo Shopping Spree". TSS was essentially going to be a series of visual parodies making fun of all the oddball products sold on J-List (this was back when J-List was still fairly unpopular, before Something Awful became the site's personal marketing whore). Other areas of the site demanded my attention, though, and TSS got overlooked for some time... Eventually, I lost all interest in writing it and the feature was axed, but the dead link and the "coming soon" noticed stayed on the site for the next two and half years because I was too lazy to set aside the 30 seconds of work it would have taken to remove them.

Q: About how often do you update the site?
A: I don't have a set update schedule to speak of; I just try to get new material written whenever I have the chance, then put it up on the site when I've got enough content ready to be bothered making an update out of it. My goal is to update the site at least once a month, but sometimes it'll happen more or less often depending on what kind of feature I'm working on and how much free time I have to finish it.

Q: So when is the next update going to be?
A: Uh, can't really name any specific dates... Just, you know, whenever I have time to get some new content ready.

Q: Are you going to update the site soon?
A: ...Umm, yeah, I hope so... Possibly...

Q: Will it be too long before you update the site again?
A: ............

Q: Hey, I noticed you haven't updated the site in awhile...
A: Oh that DOES it! That one wasn't even a fucking question! THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!
 

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Still have a question about the site that wasn't answered in the above FAQ? In that case, feel free to send me an e-mail and ask me whatever is on your mind, and I'll be happy to answer your query to the best of my ability... Or I'll just lie to you. Whichever turns out to be easier for me.