Among all the writers to have
tackled the works of A Happy Little Bumblebee, I'd have to say
that none were more motivated in their quest to contribute to
the legacy of The Bumblebee Chronicles than Chris Keating. Even
the most capable warriors often lost their will to fight the
mind-numbing absurdity of Bumblebee's stories after the first
attempt at reviewing one them; only two brave souls were able to
conquer the demon twice, and only Mr. Keating was daring and
foolish enough to take down three separate Bumblebee fanfics and
live to tell his tale.
Before he achieved eternal glory, however, Chris began his long
and arduous journey by cutting his teeth on a Final Fantasy
VIII fanfic titled "Love You Forever". In the typical style
of A Happy Little Bumblebee's stories, LYF is a "fluff" fic
written for the express purpose of shipping two male characters
(Squall and Seifer are the lucky ones this time around) that
would never, ever have been romantically involved in the source
material. Crack all the jokes you want about Squall being an
effeminate pretty-boy, but the storylines in Final Fantasy
titles have never been big on subtly, and goddamned if FFVIII
didn't go to extraordinary lengths to make sure its players were
painfully aware of how badly Squall wanted to get into Rinoa's
pants. But I digress...
While Bumblebee uses the excuse of this being an AU (alternate
universe) fic in order to accommodate her bizarre fantasies, our
man Chris Keating isn't having any of that, and fortunately has
no qualms about calling the bullshit for what it is. As you'll
see, his charmingly sarcastic commentary is exactly what's
needed to liven up this tedious tour of Yaoi Fangirl Dreamland,
and turn it into a trip worth remembering. - Alex
Guest Special: "Love You Forever"
(A 'Final Fantasy VIII' fanfiction by
A Happy Little Bumblebee)
Welcome to the first of hopefully many fanfiction
mockeries by me. I feel like I should mention a few things
about myself and the story so.....my name is Chris Keating.
(I suddenly feel like I am in a group for recovering sex
maniacs again – oh well, never mind) Also, in case you
couldn't tell, I am vastly superior to Alex Barry in many
ways and this mockery is part of my subtle attempt to take
over his website and get him declared legally insane.
Now, to kick-start this dastardly plan of mine, I've
selected a horrific Final Fantasy VIII (8 for any readers
with below par intelligence) which pairs Squall with Seifer
in an alternate universe which reads like the worst
fairytale any parent would ever dare read to their child.
Unfortunately for you and any sane people who might be
reading this page, this will not be the last fic you see of
Bumblebee's (unless Alex is more offended by my insults than
I assume), nor is it even the worst of the lot... But, as
you will soon discover, that does not mean that it's going
to be good.
This is a kawaii little AU if a
few of the Final fantasy VIII people lived in a fairy-tale.
I think it's good, but I wrote it.
That makes you think it's good? Poor delusional little
And, of course, it's a seifer/Squall!
I love that couple!
If you really loved them you'd leave them be!
* * *
Love You Forever
Happy Little Bumblebee
When the story title and author name alone send shivers
down your spine, how do you cope with the actual story?
* * *
Long ago, in a distant land, before the
worlds had been united, several realms existed in peace, or war.
Most places exist in peace or war. Though a world with a mixture
of both seems like a fun idea. Put that on your future stories
Our story takes us to a particularly
dark realm, one whose light was long ago extinguished.
Use the phrase "eternal night" and I'll seriously hurt you.
Standing on the balcony of the weeping
castle's tower was the Prince of the Ice Realm, Squall Leonhart.
See, it's ironic because Squall has a really icy personality. It
makes you think.
Though he was handsome and wealthy,
with dark grey eyes that were just gorgeous, no one desired to
marry this dashing lad.
Though his exterior showed the promise of a happy young sod, he
had long ago become frozen inside.
Which is ironic because he's prince of the ice realm. God, she's
good at irony.
Never showing his emotions, no one
wished to be bored by their husband.
Huh? That doesn't even make sense! Oh no, IT'S BEGUN!
No one ever stuck round long enough to
find out why he had turned so cold. He didn't care, though.
People weren't worth getting to know. They always left. It was
When the Prince had been very young, his sister had been taken
away without any explanation as to why she had to go. Ever since
then, he felt that as long as he distanced himself from
everyone, it wouldn't hurt as much when they left. So, he never
Not even for the sex?
It was law that any royalty was to be
married by the age of seventeen, but all princesses cowered at
the sight of the kingdom.
But...if they are princesses surely they have lived in their own
kingdom... And anyway, if it's a kingdom it probably looks nice.
Unless its one of those damn bewitched ones. I hate those so
Now, it just so happens that Squall's
birthday is only a week away,
Wow! That is the goddamn grandmother of all coincidences.
and he has yet to find a suitor. Though
he was in no rush to be stuck with someone who he didn't really
love, his father, King Laguna, was in hysterics.
"Son, you must get married! You are almost seventeen! No one
wishes to marry you!"
Way to help him build some self-confidence. Ass.
"That's not true, my lord!" a servant
called, running to the king with a note in hand.
Ah, the homosexuality is starting already! TOO SOON!
King Laguna took this note and read it
silently. Suddenly, a large grin spread over his face, making
his green eyes twinkle.
"You," he said, "have a suitor."
Fuck me, these coincidences just keep piling up!
* * *
Now, even farther than the Realm of Ice
lies the Realm of Fantasy. In this kingdom, there lived a
beautiful princess named Rinoa with a cheerful disposition and
dark brown eyes.
That description was so vivid I can almost see her sitting next
She had long heard rumors of the dark
prince, and she had decided that she could love him, if he was
given the chance to show his good side.
"Mummy, please!" she whined. "Let us go!"
Oh God, she's one of those princesses...
"But dear, there are such better
princes you could marry. Everyone wishes to meet you!"
Is she her mother or her pimp?
"I don't care! I will marry Sir
Leonhart, or I will never marry!" she cried.
Watch out! She'll be throwing her stuffed animals next!
Her mother, the queen, knowing her
daughter had set her mind, sighed and said dhe would send
notice. Rinoa waited for her mother to close the door, then
burst into a fit of laughter.
"Works every single time!"
Ha ha, fooled that bitch! Wait, did you say that because you
don't actually want to marry him, or because you just got your
way? I'm confused.
* * *
"I don't want to meet her."
"You really haven't got a choice!" protested King Laguna. "No
one else will marry you, you know."
For a fairytale, these characters are all really whiney and
Squall smirked at this. " I honestly
don't care if I ever get married, Dad. You are the only one who
thinks it matters."
I care goddammit! You can't be single forever Squall. YOU
"They are coming, but.... I can't make
you marry her.
You just said you could. Liar!
Just promise me you'll meet her. Please
give me that."
Squall shrugged. "Whatever."
And the day of meeting was set for the following day, where the
princess would meet the prince to see if they could truly be
The title says it's a SquallxSeifer slash, so I'm guessing this
'This is pointless. I'd never marry
this stupid wench.' Squall sighed, rather annoyed with the whole
situation. 'And I don't want to meet her brother.'
Whoa there. Brother? Huh?
The note had said that this Princess
Rinoa would bring her brother, Seifer, with her.
The speed of that introduction gave me whiplash.
'This is going to be one hell of a
It could be worse, you could be locked in your room reviewing a
really shitty fanfic because none of your friends want to talk
to you because they think you suck. *sniff*
* * *
The night turned to day, and the hour of the family from the
Realm of Fantasy arrived. Squall, with King Laguna alongside
him, waited by the gates of their palace. Laguna wore a large
grin, and, as usual, he showed no emotion, except for the
boredom hidden deep in his stormy eyes.
See, his eyes are storming because his name is Squall. Oh
Bumblebee, you and your irony.
The carriage pulled up, and Princess
Rinoa stepped from it. She wore a deep blue-colored dress that
shown bright againt her dark hair. Squall bowed politely, but
turned his head away.
"Welcome to the Realm of Ice!" cried King Laguna. "I'm the king
here, but you may call me Laguna, if you wish."
King: It's your choice. Really. *narrows eyes*
He bowed and kissed her hand. "This,"
he said, motioning to Squall, who was leaning against the gate,
"is my son, Squall."
Rinoa smiled and curtsied to Squall.
"Hello, my name is Princess Rinoa, and I hail from the Realm of
Fantasy. It's a pleasure to meet you."
Wait a second. Did Rinoa just form a serious sentence without
using the words "tee" and "hee"? Talk about out of character.
That's a black mark against this fic, Bumblebee!
As Rinoa said this, a young man, the
same age as Squall, stepped out of the carriage. Squall looked
up, and his breath caught in his chest. The sight before him...
surely he was a god?
Perhaps he just looks good because he's standing next to an ugly
girl. It works for me at parties. Or against me. Whatever.
The man had short, golden hair, with a
few stray pieces falling across his forehead. His glittering
eyes were deep green, save the few blue flecks scattered
through. He was beautiful. He wasn't dressed in anything too
spectacular, just a plain white shirt and pants, with a gray
trenchcoat thrown over his shoulders. He looked over at Squall,
smiled, and hopped from the carriage and walk over to Squall.
He sounds so good no one could turn him down. Hell, even I'm a
little aroused by that description.
Squall panicked a little, but somehow
kept up a calm exterior.
"Hey, man! I'm Seifer, the brother of the girl you're gonna
marry! Nice to meetcha!"
Well, golly-gosh, it sure was swell to meet you too, hyuck,
Squall didn't say anything, but shook
his hand and turned away.
Seifer frowned slightly. 'What's his problem?'
Hey, don't talk about him in the third person; he's standing
"Don't mind him," Laguna said, leading
Rinoa into the castle. "He's a bit....
Shy. You'll be friends soon, though. I
can feel it."
Squall followed after his father, with Seifer lagging behind,
taking in the surroundings.
"Nice place. Kinda dark.
ETERNAL NIGHT GODAMMIT!!!
What time is it?"
"Doesn't matter. It's always like this," Squall answered
"I like it."
That's because you suck. ...What? I needed to say something to
"You would, huh?"
Squall turned around, looking rather agitated.
After all, no one likes to be told that they would like the
things they like.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Well," Seifer began, "this isn't exactly the most inviting
place I've ever been to."
Hey! Squall shook hands with you! What more do you want? A
party? Or perhaps you just want to skip all the pleasantries and
have him bend over?
"Then, you are welcome to leave."
"Nah!" Seifer said, laughing. "I'd rather stick around. Liven up
the place a bit!"
Carefree sex, anyone?
He put an arm round Squall and gave him
"You'll have to deal with it! I'm here until you marry my
'Perfect.' thought Squall.
Seifer let go and looked at Squall, who
was fixing his hair and mumbling about the hell about to ensue.
"Ya know, you COULD look a little happier about this. I'm not
ecstatic about being here. This place bites. It's boring."
You've been here for like five minutes. I think someone has the
Seifer smirked. "But I'll fix it up!"
Seifer stuck his tongue out as they entered the castle.
What a macho man. Can't you just see why hundreds and hundreds
of girls want the Seifmeister?
The walls were a dark blue color with
painted windows to shut out the light.
I.....thought it was always dark?
Rinoa looked round, frowning slightly.
"When we get married, can we live in my castle? This isn't a
very nice environment for the children."
She's been here five minutes and she's talking about children.
RUN SQUALL. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND PURE RUN!!!
King Laguna smiled.
"Already planning for your children's futures! I'm so proud!"
Rinoa smiled. "Thank you, sir." She winked at Squall.
Then she noticed the huge-ass sword that he'd just skewered her
"Hey, Squall," Seifer said. "Where's
Squall pointed to a long, winding stairwell. "Up."
Seifer nodded. "Right.... Care to show me up?"
Whew. Nice save, fic.
Laguna gave a glare to his son.
Though hardly seen, the look was rather frightening.
Except it wasn't because you couldn't really see it, right?
Squall led the way, with Seifer in tow.
"So, has it always been like this?" Seifer asked.
Squall: Hey, you noticed the fact that my dad mentally abuses
"You know... so dark and dismal? I mean, it can't have always
been like this, right?"
It's an eternal night, what's so damn hard to understand about
Squall kept walking. "That is none of
"Sure it is!" Seifer laughed. "I'm practically family already!"
"No, you're not."
"Fine, whatever. Don't tell me. There's plenty of people who'd
So far it seems like there are only four people in the whole
castle. You and Rinoa don't know, Squall won't tell you and
Laguna is too busy trying to force you together so there aren't
many options there. Sorry. Oh, wait, no. The servant that
brought the letter earlier. He knows all.
"All right then. Go ahead and ask. But
I wouldn't bother."
Seifer cocked his head to the side. "Why not?"
"They won't tell. No one knows, except for my father and I."
So I guess that servant is completely useless to the story, now.
They walked on ahead, Squall saying
nothing and Seifer obviously deep in thought.
"Here we are."
Seifer snapped out of his thoughts to see that they were at the
door of Squall's room.
Seifer: Why is there a "men's bathroom" sign on the door?
Squall opened the door and they walked
The room had no window, just a closed off place where one once
was. The walls were colored black and the floor was of black
marble. Dull lanterns were lit round the room, but it was still
"Welcome, Seifer, to my humble abyss."
Your place is really dreary, we get the picture. God, next thing
there will be comments about the need for flowers and sunshine
and festive throw pillows.
Seifer smiled. "It's nice. Not like my
room, all full of color and sunlight."
Meh, close enough.
Squall turned and glared. "Funny."
"Sorry, man. It's just," he said, looking round, "you hafta
admit, the place isn't too happy. Though, I love the floor. Very
"Lighten up! C'mon, I came here to have fun and liven this place
Laguna only let Seifer come because he needed a stripper for the
I'll make it better. But... let's start
with your room, can we?"
Aren't they already in his room?
"What do you mean?" Squall asked. "What
do you want to do with my room?"
"Brighten it! C'mon, let's get some paint!" (I know this is way
back when, but how else can you brighten a room?)
Re-opening the window would be a start. Oh, no, wait. Eternal
darkness, silly me.
Seifer eyes lit up. "Really?"
Squall nodded. Anything to stay away from Rinoa.
Dude, you killed her. The sooner you come to terms with that the
sooner you can chop her up into little bits and feed her to the
dogs. Let's try some progressive thinking here.
* * *
"Okay!" Seifer yelled, after purchasing
Don't you just love online shopping? Saves so much time it's
"Let's get started!"
Squall nodded, and opened up a can of paint. He looked over at
"You bought green?"
"Not just green!" Seifer said, opening a second can of it. "Lime
Actually, the can was empty. There's only so much fluff a man
can take without vomiting. The can was the best way to hide it.
"Oh, that just makes it sooo much
"This is the color in my room, I thought you might like it."
Is anyone else starting to really hate Seifer? ...Or maybe
something further along than starting to?
Squall picked up a brush and began to
paint a wall.
It was a very nice color, really.
If I could choose any color to wake up to in the mornings I'd
choose lime green.
Seifer picked up a brush and began to
paint as well.
However, this peace was not to last.
Their attempts to paint Squall's room would soon give rise to
one of the most brutal wars in history.
Seifer soon became bored of this,
There's that ADD creeping in again.
He dipped his brush in some paint and
snuck over to where Squall was standing. Carefully, he lifted
the brush, and....
SWIPE! A large green smear was on Squall's left cheek.
I'm not going to make an ass joke here, I'm not!
Squall turned to Seifer, who had gone
back to painting.
Squall picked up his can of paint and crept over to Seifer. He
lifted the can of paint his above his head, and poured it all
over his his head.
"YIPE!" Seifer yelled, jumping. (Yes, he said yipe)
Good, thanks for clearing that up. I thought I might have read
that part wrong but I didn't want to have to back up to check.
Seifer turned, a glare of death set on
his face, but it softened when he saw Squall. He was laughing
harder than he had ever seen anyone laugh.
"Oh, now you will pay."
Squall stopped laughing, but was smiling.
"I can win."
There will be no winners by the end of this fic...
"Nope, you're out of paint."
Squall was about to respond, but stopped. He was right.
"As you can see, my paint can is full."
Seifer has clearly not been doing much painting today.
With one swift movement, Seifer had
picked up his own paint can and dumped it on Squall.
God, the word choice is causing my brain to shut itself down in
he said, jumping as the paint slid down
Seifer began laughing as Squall continued jumping round.
"This is great!"
-ly disturbing all who read it?
Squall stopped hopping, but smiled.
"I think we should get some more paint."
Seifer nodded, still laughing.
Good thing the online shopping is always open for orders.
* * *
After the room had been painted, and
after about three different fights, they were laying on the
floor, green and panting.
"Well, at least the room looks nice." Seifer commented.
I'm guessing from that they decided not to use the lime green
"Yeah, but we better get cleaned up.
Dinner will probably be soon."
"Yeah, you're right. I'm starving, too. We didn't get lunch."
Seifer: We technically had the option of eating on the way over,
but, you know... Airplane food.
So, the two cleaned up the best they
could, though Seifer still had paint in his hair and Squall on
Squall's a fucking prince. Shouldn't he at least have a spare
"It only adds to our dashing good
looks!" Seifer said, trying to convince himself and Squall.
Trying and failing.
"Yes, ~our~ dashing good looks."
"What are you pulling at?"
Squall! Stop that and pull your trousers back up!
Squall gave an innocent smile.
* * *
Dinner in the Realm of Ice had never
been a very big event, but, as this was the welcoming dinner for
the Princess and Prince from another kingdom, it was rather
Speaking of said princess, where the hell is Rinoa? Surely in
the time it took them to paint Squall's room she would have
wanted to talk to him. The whole idea of this trip is for them
to talk after all. Then again, plot inconsistencies are the
least of my worries at the moment.
Seifer scratched his head uncertainly
as they sat down, all of the kingdom with them.
Thus the dining room was packed to the rafters with a grand
total of like six people.
"You know, I've never really fancied
big engagements like this."
Seifer pulled at his clothes.
I hate dressing up, ya know?"
We get it, Seifer, you'd rather be naked! Jeeze, take a break!
"Welcome, my fair kingdom, to my
castle! I hope you've enjoyed the festivities thus far! But this
is a very special day, indeed." King Laguna stopped and smiled
at his son. "My son... is engaged to the wonderful princess from
the Realm of Fantasy, Rinoa Heartily."
Rinoa stood up and bowed to the people of the kingdom.
There she is! Clearly she's been busy "talking" to Laguna this
whole time. That horn dog.
She smiled at King Laguna.
"Thank you, Sir Laguna. I'd just like
to say, that this first day has been absolutely perfect. I love
it here, and I can't wait until we live together in this
Ah, so she's a gold-digging bitch.
Seifer looked at Squall, and made a
very obscene gesture with his hand. Squall turned red trying to
hold in his laughter.
Seifer: This is the church, see, and this is the steeple, and if
you open the doors, inside you... Oh, sorry sis. Keep going.
Rinoa kept on, about marriage,
children, and other things that won't matter because he would
never marry her. YAWN!!!!!!!
Well, that spoiled the storyline. I thought this was leading up
to them getting married in the end, dammit!
"Let's leave," whispered Seifer. "This
place sucks. I can't stand it. C'mon."
So, at a table of half a dozen, two people managed to sneak away
unnoticed. One of them the husband-to-be! Laguna and Rinoa must
be "busy" again.
So, as silently as possible, the two
crept out of the ballroom and into the garden. Seifer took a
deep breath and sighed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAH! Nice to be outta there, huh?"
"Way too stuffy. I don't see how people can like that crap."
What? Marriage? Or the food?
"Really. I'd rather just wander round,
"Yeah. This is the best place in the kingdom, you know."
Isn't it all dark and gloomy and shit?
Squall fell into the grass and sighed
"It's nice and quiet in here. No one
ever comes here, except for me."
Seifer layed down beside Squall and supported himself on his
Squall looked over at Seifer and saw him staring at him.
"What is it?" Squall asked.
"It's.... you look cute laying there, all dreamy and
Oh god, its starting, OH GOD.
Squall cocked his head to the side.
"You look cute. That's all."
No he doesn't! Shut up Seifer!
Squall smiled a little.
"Thanks, I guess. Not quite sure how to answer that," Squall
said, scratching his head.
I'd cut the bastard.
Seifer's eyes sparkled. "Can I answer
As long as it isn't with your tongue.
"What do y-" Squall began, but was
stopped buy a gentle kiss from Seifer.
What did I JUST say?
Squall's eyes widedned, but he sank
into this kiss immediately. It seemed like all of time had
frozen whilst they sat there in each other's arms. But, they
hesitantly parted. They had to breath.
I would have gained a hell of a lot of pleasure if they had died
from lack of oxygen there.
"I think," Squall said, "that you stole
the words right out of my mouth."
"I'm glad," Seifer said, grinning like
The two leaned in for another kiss as they heard someone
Wait, they can hear me now?
"What the hell do you think you're
doing!?" King Laguna screamed, storming over to the two boys.
I thought he was encouraging them earlier. This guy is sending
some mixed signals.
Squall broke the kiss quickly. His
father had never been this mad.
"Get up, Squall. You too, Seifer."
"Uh-oh. We're in trouble. Someone's come along and burst our
He took a deep breath and exhaled.
"Please explain to me what you're doing."
"We got bored at dinner, so we left for the garden, and we
I never, ever want to be at a house when people get bored at
"But, you're engaged to Princess Rinoa.
You can't go about cheating on her, and with her BROTHER!!!"
"I never said I would marry her."
Every gay man's excuse when their parents find out.
"But it was all set up! The whole
kingdom believes you two will be married on your birthday!"
That's what you get when there's a lack of communication. Or a
crazy-ass fangirl writing the story.
Squall smirked and turned away from his
"Then you best tell them otherwise. Though they will be awfully
disappointed that you lied to them."
Probably not disappointed, but more filled with murderous rage.
I'm sure even the citizens of the ice realm don't want to live
in "that kingdom with the poofter prince."
King Laguna glared at his son, and
swung at him with the back of his hand. There was a sickening
slap. Then silence.
"You are going to marry Princess Rinoa.
And you will not be left alone with that boy again," he said,
pointing at Seifer.
Go Laguna, go Laguna, slap that bitch bum-bum-cha.
Squall didn't answer, still in shock.
'My father hit me...'
Get used to it, bitch. Daddy's back and he's not having any of
your angsty bullshit.
King Laguna sent a final glare to
Seifer and walked off angrily.
Laguna is now my favorite character in this story. He gets with
Rinoa and abuses the poof.
Seifer rushed to Squall's side and put
an arm round him.
"Are you okay? Squall..."
"I don't want to be here anymore."
They don't exactly want you here anymore, either. Remember the
Seifer looked at him, confusion clearly
"What?" he questioned.
It wasn't exactly a complex idea there, brain box. Jesus.
"Let's go to another kingdom, together,
where we won't be torn apart. Let's leave now."
Go to the Kingdom of
random-slash-couples-that-could-never-really-happen and stay
there you fucking whiney shits. Go live under the thumb of Queen
Bumblebee and see how well you like that.
Seifer smiled and nodded.
"Let's steal the carriage I came in. I learned to drive it ages
ago. And my stuff is still inside."
Now this is like a Final Fantasy/Grand Theft Auto crossover.
Quietly, the couple raced to the
carriage and boarded.
"Get ready for our getaway!" Seiefr laughed.
Bumblebee is so excited by their homosexuality she can't even
spell their names probably right now.
He had to admit, though he had to flee
to be with his beloved, it was rather exciting.
"This means loads to me, Seifer. It's kind of crazy, but we'll
They've known each other for a good, uh, couple of hours now, so
naturally their happiness together over the course of a lifetime
"Well," Seifer said said, grinning,
"people do crazy things when they're in love."
Ah, there we go. The L-word. This fic is done.
"I love you, Squall. I felt it when I
saw you." Seifer gave Squall a peck on the cheek.
"But you don't have to say it back yet. That's all right."
"I love you too, Seifer-kun."
Out of all the things she could throw in this story, it would
have to be the random Japanese...
And so, in the small horse-drawn
carriage, the two fled to be together in the Realm of the
Warrior. The two were wedded, and lived in the kingdom together.
Nothing could have torn the two apart, no matter what. They were
together to the end of their days, always looking at each other
with love in their eyes.
Brief ending, but to be honest I wouldn't have it any other way.
If only the whole story had been a one-paragraph summery, it
would have been my favorite Bumblebee fic.
* * *
The End of my one-shot fairy-tale! Did you like it? It was
fluffy, my favorite.
Uh, good for you.
But you shouldn't have to listen to my
ranting. Tell me in a review if you enjoyed the story. No
You can almost hear the desperation and pleading in her voice.
Then you laugh manically and flame her anyway.
since it is my first fairy-tale.
For all the fish? Yay, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy joke!
Whoooo! I'm cool. Had to slip at least one line stolen from a
book in here somewhere. Might as well be right at the end.
Well, now that the fic is over I feel that I should talk
about what it has taught us so that we can all feel like we have
at least learned something here instead of wasted a good portion
of our short and meaningless lives.
I think it is painfully clear that no matter how well a game
explains the personality of a key character and goes out of its
way to indicate that there is no other possible romantic
relationship for this character than the one they end the game
with, it still won't be safe from crazy, slavering,
fantasy-driven fangirls with a crush on one or more of the
characters. Also, I think we've learned that fangirls will
never, ever pair their favorite characters up in realistic
relationships because somehow this doesn't give them pleasure.
Instead they must think of the most unrealistic pairing possible
and then make up the stupidest plotline you've ever heard of
simply to bring these two characters together. Then, most of the
time they'll rewrite the original love interest of their
favorite character from the game into the biggest bimbo/psycho
ever simply to get even with the wench that stole their man.
So, has anyone actually learned anything that they'll be able to
use to impress people or improve their lives in any conceivable
way? No? Good.
-Written by Chris Keating.