Among all the writers to have tackled the works of A Happy Little Bumblebee, I'd have to say that none were more motivated in their quest to contribute to the legacy of The Bumblebee Chronicles than Chris Keating. Even the most capable warriors often lost their will to fight the mind-numbing absurdity of Bumblebee's stories after the first attempt at reviewing one them; only two brave souls were able to conquer the demon twice, and only Mr. Keating was daring and foolish enough to take down three separate Bumblebee fanfics and live to tell his tale.

Before he achieved eternal glory, however, Chris began his long and arduous journey by cutting his teeth on a
Final Fantasy VIII fanfic titled "Love You Forever". In the typical style of A Happy Little Bumblebee's stories, LYF is a "fluff" fic written for the express purpose of shipping two male characters (Squall and Seifer are the lucky ones this time around) that would never, ever have been romantically involved in the source material. Crack all the jokes you want about Squall being an effeminate pretty-boy, but the storylines in Final Fantasy titles have never been big on subtly, and goddamned if FFVIII didn't go to extraordinary lengths to make sure its players were painfully aware of how badly Squall wanted to get into Rinoa's pants. But I digress...

While Bumblebee uses the excuse of this being an AU (alternate universe) fic in order to accommodate her bizarre fantasies, our man Chris Keating isn't having any of that, and fortunately has no qualms about calling the bullshit for what it is. As you'll see, his charmingly sarcastic commentary is exactly what's needed to liven up this tedious tour of Yaoi Fangirl Dreamland, and turn it into a trip worth remembering. - Alex

 

 

Guest Special: "Love You Forever"
(A 'Final Fantasy VIII' fanfiction by A Happy Little Bumblebee)

Reviewed by: Chris Keating


Welcome to the first of hopefully many fanfiction mockeries by me. I feel like I should mention a few things about myself and the story so.....my name is Chris Keating. (I suddenly feel like I am in a group for recovering sex maniacs again oh well, never mind) Also, in case you couldn't tell, I am vastly superior to Alex Barry in many ways and this mockery is part of my subtle attempt to take over his website and get him declared legally insane.

Now, to kick-start this dastardly plan of mine, I've selected a horrific Final Fantasy VIII (8 for any readers with below par intelligence) which pairs Squall with Seifer in an alternate universe which reads like the worst fairytale any parent would ever dare read to their child. Unfortunately for you and any sane people who might be reading this page, this will not be the last fic you see of Bumblebee's (unless Alex is more offended by my insults than I assume), nor is it even the worst of the lot... But, as you will soon discover, that does not mean that it's going to be good.

 


 

This is a kawaii little AU if a few of the Final fantasy VIII people lived in a fairy-tale. I think it's good, but I wrote it.

That makes you think it's good? Poor delusional little bugger.

And, of course, it's a seifer/Squall! I love that couple!

If you really loved them you'd leave them be!

 

* * *


Love You Forever

by: A Happy Little Bumblebee
 

When the story title and author name alone send shivers down your spine, how do you cope with the actual story?

 

* * *


Long ago, in a distant land, before the worlds had been united, several realms existed in peace, or war.


Most places exist in peace or war. Though a world with a mixture of both seems like a fun idea. Put that on your future stories list.

Our story takes us to a particularly dark realm, one whose light was long ago extinguished.

Use the phrase "eternal night" and I'll seriously hurt you.

 

Standing on the balcony of the weeping castle's tower was the Prince of the Ice Realm, Squall Leonhart.

See, it's ironic because Squall has a really icy personality. It makes you think.

Though he was handsome and wealthy, with dark grey eyes that were just gorgeous, no one desired to marry this dashing lad.

Though his exterior showed the promise of a happy young sod, he had long ago become frozen inside.


Which is ironic because he's prince of the ice realm. God, she's good at irony.

Never showing his emotions, no one wished to be bored by their husband.

Huh? That doesn't even make sense! Oh no, IT'S BEGUN!

No one ever stuck round long enough to find out why he had turned so cold. He didn't care, though. People weren't worth getting to know. They always left. It was pointless.

When the Prince had been very young, his sister had been taken away without any explanation as to why she had to go. Ever since then, he felt that as long as he distanced himself from everyone, it wouldn't hurt as much when they left. So, he never got married.


Not even for the sex?

It was law that any royalty was to be married by the age of seventeen, but all princesses cowered at the sight of the kingdom.

But...if they are princesses surely they have lived in their own kingdom... And anyway, if it's a kingdom it probably looks nice. Unless its one of those damn bewitched ones. I hate those so much!

Now, it just so happens that Squall's birthday is only a week away,

Wow! That is the goddamn grandmother of all coincidences.

and he has yet to find a suitor. Though he was in no rush to be stuck with someone who he didn't really love, his father, King Laguna, was in hysterics.

"Son, you must get married! You are almost seventeen! No one wishes to marry you!"


Way to help him build some self-confidence. Ass.

"That's not true, my lord!" a servant called, running to the king with a note in hand.

Ah, the homosexuality is starting already! TOO SOON!

King Laguna took this note and read it silently. Suddenly, a large grin spread over his face, making his green eyes twinkle.

"You," he said, "have a suitor."


Fuck me, these coincidences just keep piling up!


* * *
 

Now, even farther than the Realm of Ice lies the Realm of Fantasy. In this kingdom, there lived a beautiful princess named Rinoa with a cheerful disposition and dark brown eyes.

That description was so vivid I can almost see her sitting next to me.

She had long heard rumors of the dark prince, and she had decided that she could love him, if he was given the chance to show his good side.

"Mummy, please!" she whined. "Let us go!"


Oh God, she's one of those princesses...

"But dear, there are such better princes you could marry. Everyone wishes to meet you!"

Is she her mother or her pimp?

"I don't care! I will marry Sir Leonhart, or I will never marry!" she cried.

Watch out! She'll be throwing her stuffed animals next!

Her mother, the queen, knowing her daughter had set her mind, sighed and said dhe would send notice. Rinoa waited for her mother to close the door, then burst into a fit of laughter.

"Works every single time!"


Ha ha, fooled that bitch! Wait, did you say that because you don't actually want to marry him, or because you just got your way? I'm confused.


* * *
 

"I don't want to meet her."

"You really haven't got a choice!" protested King Laguna. "No one else will marry you, you know."


For a fairytale, these characters are all really whiney and bitter.

Squall smirked at this. " I honestly don't care if I ever get married, Dad. You are the only one who thinks it matters."

I care goddammit! You can't be single forever Squall. YOU CAN'T!!

"They are coming, but.... I can't make you marry her.

You just said you could. Liar!

Just promise me you'll meet her. Please give me that."

Squall shrugged. "Whatever."

And the day of meeting was set for the following day, where the princess would meet the prince to see if they could truly be happy together.


The title says it's a SquallxSeifer slash, so I'm guessing this ends badly.

'This is pointless. I'd never marry this stupid wench.' Squall sighed, rather annoyed with the whole situation. 'And I don't want to meet her brother.'

Whoa there. Brother? Huh?

The note had said that this Princess Rinoa would bring her brother, Seifer, with her.

The speed of that introduction gave me whiplash.

'This is going to be one hell of a crappy day.'

It could be worse, you could be locked in your room reviewing a really shitty fanfic because none of your friends want to talk to you because they think you suck. *sniff*


* * *


The night turned to day, and the hour of the family from the Realm of Fantasy arrived. Squall, with King Laguna alongside him, waited by the gates of their palace. Laguna wore a large grin, and, as usual, he showed no emotion, except for the boredom hidden deep in his stormy eyes.


See, his eyes are storming because his name is Squall. Oh Bumblebee, you and your irony.

The carriage pulled up, and Princess Rinoa stepped from it. She wore a deep blue-colored dress that shown bright againt her dark hair. Squall bowed politely, but turned his head away.

"Welcome to the Realm of Ice!" cried King Laguna. "I'm the king here, but you may call me Laguna, if you wish."


King: It's your choice. Really. *narrows eyes*

He bowed and kissed her hand. "This," he said, motioning to Squall, who was leaning against the gate, "is my son, Squall."

Rinoa smiled and curtsied to Squall.

"Hello, my name is Princess Rinoa, and I hail from the Realm of Fantasy. It's a pleasure to meet you."


Wait a second. Did Rinoa just form a serious sentence without using the words "tee" and "hee"? Talk about out of character. That's a black mark against this fic, Bumblebee!

As Rinoa said this, a young man, the same age as Squall, stepped out of the carriage. Squall looked up, and his breath caught in his chest. The sight before him... surely he was a god?

Perhaps he just looks good because he's standing next to an ugly girl. It works for me at parties. Or against me. Whatever.

The man had short, golden hair, with a few stray pieces falling across his forehead. His glittering eyes were deep green, save the few blue flecks scattered through. He was beautiful. He wasn't dressed in anything too spectacular, just a plain white shirt and pants, with a gray trenchcoat thrown over his shoulders. He looked over at Squall, smiled, and hopped from the carriage and walk over to Squall.

He sounds so good no one could turn him down. Hell, even I'm a little aroused by that description.

Squall panicked a little, but somehow kept up a calm exterior.

"Hey, man! I'm Seifer, the brother of the girl you're gonna marry! Nice to meetcha!"


Well, golly-gosh, it sure was swell to meet you too, hyuck, hyuck.

Squall didn't say anything, but shook his hand and turned away.

Seifer frowned slightly. 'What's his problem?'


Hey, don't talk about him in the third person; he's standing right there.

"Don't mind him," Laguna said, leading Rinoa into the castle. "He's a bit....

Gay?

Shy. You'll be friends soon, though. I can feel it."

Squall followed after his father, with Seifer lagging behind, taking in the surroundings.

"Nice place. Kinda dark.


ETERNAL NIGHT GODAMMIT!!!

What time is it?"

"Doesn't matter. It's always like this," Squall answered carelessly.

"Really? Bummer."

"I like it."


That's because you suck. ...What? I needed to say something to fill space!

"You would, huh?"

Squall turned around, looking rather agitated.


After all, no one likes to be told that they would like the things they like.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well," Seifer began, "this isn't exactly the most inviting place I've ever been to."


Hey! Squall shook hands with you! What more do you want? A party? Or perhaps you just want to skip all the pleasantries and have him bend over?

"Then, you are welcome to leave."

"Nah!" Seifer said, laughing. "I'd rather stick around. Liven up the place a bit!"


Carefree sex, anyone?

He put an arm round Squall and gave him a noogie.

"You'll have to deal with it! I'm here until you marry my sister!"

'Perfect.' thought Squall.


SARCASM'D!

Seifer let go and looked at Squall, who was fixing his hair and mumbling about the hell about to ensue.

"Ya know, you COULD look a little happier about this. I'm not ecstatic about being here. This place bites. It's boring."


You've been here for like five minutes. I think someone has the ADD.

Seifer smirked. "But I'll fix it up!"

"Whatever."

Seifer stuck his tongue out as they entered the castle.


What a macho man. Can't you just see why hundreds and hundreds of girls want the Seifmeister?

The walls were a dark blue color with painted windows to shut out the light.

I.....thought it was always dark?

Rinoa looked round, frowning slightly.

"When we get married, can we live in my castle? This isn't a very nice environment for the children."


She's been here five minutes and she's talking about children. RUN SQUALL. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND PURE RUN!!!

King Laguna smiled.

"Already planning for your children's futures! I'm so proud!"

Rinoa smiled. "Thank you, sir." She winked at Squall.


Then she noticed the huge-ass sword that he'd just skewered her with.

"Hey, Squall," Seifer said. "Where's your room?"

Squall pointed to a long, winding stairwell. "Up."

Seifer nodded. "Right.... Care to show me up?"


Uh-oh... UH-OH!!

"Not particularly."

Whew. Nice save, fic.

Laguna gave a glare to his son.

Though hardly seen, the look was rather frightening.


Except it wasn't because you couldn't really see it, right?

"Fine. C'mon."

Squall led the way, with Seifer in tow.

"So, has it always been like this?" Seifer asked.


Squall: Hey, you noticed the fact that my dad mentally abuses me, too.

"Like what?"

"You know... so dark and dismal? I mean, it can't have always been like this, right?"


It's an eternal night, what's so damn hard to understand about that?

Squall kept walking. "That is none of your business."

"Sure it is!" Seifer laughed. "I'm practically family already!"

"No, you're not."

"Fine, whatever. Don't tell me. There's plenty of people who'd know."


So far it seems like there are only four people in the whole castle. You and Rinoa don't know, Squall won't tell you and Laguna is too busy trying to force you together so there aren't many options there. Sorry. Oh, wait, no. The servant that brought the letter earlier. He knows all.

"All right then. Go ahead and ask. But I wouldn't bother."

Seifer cocked his head to the side. "Why not?"

"They won't tell. No one knows, except for my father and I."


So I guess that servant is completely useless to the story, now.

They walked on ahead, Squall saying nothing and Seifer obviously deep in thought.

"Here we are."

Seifer snapped out of his thoughts to see that they were at the door of Squall's room.


Seifer: Why is there a "men's bathroom" sign on the door?

Squall opened the door and they walked in.

The room had no window, just a closed off place where one once was. The walls were colored black and the floor was of black marble. Dull lanterns were lit round the room, but it was still very gloomy.

"Welcome, Seifer, to my humble abyss."


Your place is really dreary, we get the picture. God, next thing there will be comments about the need for flowers and sunshine and festive throw pillows.

Seifer smiled. "It's nice. Not like my room, all full of color and sunlight."

Meh, close enough.

Squall turned and glared. "Funny."

"Sorry, man. It's just," he said, looking round, "you hafta admit, the place isn't too happy. Though, I love the floor. Very nice."

"Thanks."

"Lighten up! C'mon, I came here to have fun and liven this place up!


Laguna only let Seifer come because he needed a stripper for the stag night.

I'll make it better. But... let's start with your room, can we?"

Aren't they already in his room?

"What do you mean?" Squall asked. "What do you want to do with my room?"

"Brighten it! C'mon, let's get some paint!" (I know this is way back when, but how else can you brighten a room?)


Re-opening the window would be a start. Oh, no, wait. Eternal darkness, silly me.

"Fine."

Seifer eyes lit up. "Really?"

Squall nodded. Anything to stay away from Rinoa.


Dude, you killed her. The sooner you come to terms with that the sooner you can chop her up into little bits and feed her to the dogs. Let's try some progressive thinking here.
 

* * *
 

"Okay!" Seifer yelled, after purchasing some paint.

Don't you just love online shopping? Saves so much time it's unreal!

"Let's get started!"

Squall nodded, and opened up a can of paint. He looked over at Seifer.

"You bought green?"

"Not just green!" Seifer said, opening a second can of it. "Lime green!"


Actually, the can was empty. There's only so much fluff a man can take without vomiting. The can was the best way to hide it.

"Oh, that just makes it sooo much better."

"This is the color in my room, I thought you might like it."


Is anyone else starting to really hate Seifer? ...Or maybe something further along than starting to?

Squall picked up a brush and began to paint a wall.

It was a very nice color, really.


If I could choose any color to wake up to in the mornings I'd choose lime green.

Seifer picked up a brush and began to paint as well.

However, this peace was not to last.


Their attempts to paint Squall's room would soon give rise to one of the most brutal wars in history.

Seifer soon became bored of this, though.

There's that ADD creeping in again.

He dipped his brush in some paint and snuck over to where Squall was standing. Carefully, he lifted the brush, and....

SWIPE! A large green smear was on Squall's left cheek.


I'm not going to make an ass joke here, I'm not!

Squall turned to Seifer, who had gone back to painting.

Squall picked up his can of paint and crept over to Seifer. He lifted the can of paint his above his head, and poured it all over his his head.

"YIPE!" Seifer yelled, jumping. (Yes, he said yipe)


Good, thanks for clearing that up. I thought I might have read that part wrong but I didn't want to have to back up to check.

Seifer turned, a glare of death set on his face, but it softened when he saw Squall. He was laughing harder than he had ever seen anyone laugh.

"Oh, now you will pay."

Squall stopped laughing, but was smiling.

"I can win."


There will be no winners by the end of this fic...

"Nope, you're out of paint."

Squall was about to respond, but stopped. He was right.

"Right..."

"As you can see, my paint can is full."


Seifer has clearly not been doing much painting today. Damn slacker.

With one swift movement, Seifer had picked up his own paint can and dumped it on Squall.

"ACK!!!"


God, the word choice is causing my brain to shut itself down in self-defense.

he said, jumping as the paint slid down his back.

Seifer began laughing as Squall continued jumping round.

"This is great!"


-ly disturbing all who read it?

Squall stopped hopping, but smiled.

"I think we should get some more paint."

Seifer nodded, still laughing.


Good thing the online shopping is always open for orders.


* * *
 

After the room had been painted, and after about three different fights, they were laying on the floor, green and panting.

"Well, at least the room looks nice." Seifer commented.


I'm guessing from that they decided not to use the lime green paint.

"Yeah, but we better get cleaned up. Dinner will probably be soon."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm starving, too. We didn't get lunch."


Seifer: We technically had the option of eating on the way over, but, you know... Airplane food.

So, the two cleaned up the best they could, though Seifer still had paint in his hair and Squall on his jacket.

Squall's a fucking prince. Shouldn't he at least have a spare jacket?

"It only adds to our dashing good looks!" Seifer said, trying to convince himself and Squall.

Trying and failing.

"Yes, ~our~ dashing good looks."

"What are you pulling at?"


Squall! Stop that and pull your trousers back up!

Squall gave an innocent smile.

"Nothing."


* * *
 

Dinner in the Realm of Ice had never been a very big event, but, as this was the welcoming dinner for the Princess and Prince from another kingdom, it was rather grand.

Speaking of said princess, where the hell is Rinoa? Surely in the time it took them to paint Squall's room she would have wanted to talk to him. The whole idea of this trip is for them to talk after all. Then again, plot inconsistencies are the least of my worries at the moment.

Seifer scratched his head uncertainly as they sat down, all of the kingdom with them.

Thus the dining room was packed to the rafters with a grand total of like six people.

"You know, I've never really fancied big engagements like this."

Seifer pulled at his clothes.

I hate dressing up, ya know?"


We get it, Seifer, you'd rather be naked! Jeeze, take a break!

"Welcome, my fair kingdom, to my castle! I hope you've enjoyed the festivities thus far! But this is a very special day, indeed." King Laguna stopped and smiled at his son. "My son... is engaged to the wonderful princess from the Realm of Fantasy, Rinoa Heartily."

Rinoa stood up and bowed to the people of the kingdom.


There she is! Clearly she's been busy "talking" to Laguna this whole time. That horn dog.

She smiled at King Laguna.

See? SEE!?

"Thank you, Sir Laguna. I'd just like to say, that this first day has been absolutely perfect. I love it here, and I can't wait until we live together in this castle."

Ah, so she's a gold-digging bitch.

Seifer looked at Squall, and made a very obscene gesture with his hand. Squall turned red trying to hold in his laughter.

Seifer: This is the church, see, and this is the steeple, and if you open the doors, inside you... Oh, sorry sis. Keep going.

Rinoa kept on, about marriage, children, and other things that won't matter because he would never marry her. YAWN!!!!!!!

Well, that spoiled the storyline. I thought this was leading up to them getting married in the end, dammit!

"Let's leave," whispered Seifer. "This place sucks. I can't stand it. C'mon."

So, at a table of half a dozen, two people managed to sneak away unnoticed. One of them the husband-to-be! Laguna and Rinoa must be "busy" again.

So, as silently as possible, the two crept out of the ballroom and into the garden. Seifer took a deep breath and sighed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH! Nice to be outta there, huh?"

Squall nodded.

"Way too stuffy. I don't see how people can like that crap."


What? Marriage? Or the food?

"Really. I'd rather just wander round, ya know?"

"Yeah. This is the best place in the kingdom, you know."


Isn't it all dark and gloomy and shit?

Squall fell into the grass and sighed happily.

Grass?! GRASS!?!

"It's nice and quiet in here. No one ever comes here, except for me."

Seifer layed down beside Squall and supported himself on his elbow.

Squall looked over at Seifer and saw him staring at him.

"What is it?" Squall asked.

"It's.... you look cute laying there, all dreamy and everything."


Oh god, its starting, OH GOD.

Squall cocked his head to the side. "What?"

"You look cute. That's all."


No he doesn't! Shut up Seifer!

Squall smiled a little.

"Thanks, I guess. Not quite sure how to answer that," Squall said, scratching his head.


I'd cut the bastard.

Seifer's eyes sparkled. "Can I answer for you?"

As long as it isn't with your tongue.

"What do y-" Squall began, but was stopped buy a gentle kiss from Seifer.

What did I JUST say?

Squall's eyes widedned, but he sank into this kiss immediately. It seemed like all of time had frozen whilst they sat there in each other's arms. But, they hesitantly parted. They had to breath.

I would have gained a hell of a lot of pleasure if they had died from lack of oxygen there.

"I think," Squall said, "that you stole the words right out of my mouth."

Bwhahaha....ha....ha..... God.

"I'm glad," Seifer said, grinning like mad.

The two leaned in for another kiss as they heard someone shouting.


Wait, they can hear me now?

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" King Laguna screamed, storming over to the two boys.

I thought he was encouraging them earlier. This guy is sending some mixed signals.

Squall broke the kiss quickly. His father had never been this mad.

"Get up, Squall. You too, Seifer."


"Uh-oh. We're in trouble. Someone's come along and burst our bubble!"

He took a deep breath and exhaled.

"Please explain to me what you're doing."

"We got bored at dinner, so we left for the garden, and we kissed."


I never, ever want to be at a house when people get bored at dinner. Ever.

"But, you're engaged to Princess Rinoa. You can't go about cheating on her, and with her BROTHER!!!"

"I never said I would marry her."


Every gay man's excuse when their parents find out.

"But it was all set up! The whole kingdom believes you two will be married on your birthday!"

That's what you get when there's a lack of communication. Or a crazy-ass fangirl writing the story.

Squall smirked and turned away from his father.

"Then you best tell them otherwise. Though they will be awfully disappointed that you lied to them."


Probably not disappointed, but more filled with murderous rage. I'm sure even the citizens of the ice realm don't want to live in "that kingdom with the poofter prince."

King Laguna glared at his son, and swung at him with the back of his hand. There was a sickening slap. Then silence.

Thank you!

"You are going to marry Princess Rinoa. And you will not be left alone with that boy again," he said, pointing at Seifer.

Go Laguna, go Laguna, slap that bitch bum-bum-cha.

Squall didn't answer, still in shock.

'My father hit me...'


Get used to it, bitch. Daddy's back and he's not having any of your angsty bullshit.

King Laguna sent a final glare to Seifer and walked off angrily.

Laguna is now my favorite character in this story. He gets with Rinoa and abuses the poof.

Seifer rushed to Squall's side and put an arm round him.

"Are you okay? Squall..."

Squall nodded.

"I don't want to be here anymore."


They don't exactly want you here anymore, either. Remember the slap?

Seifer looked at him, confusion clearly there.

"What?" he questioned.


It wasn't exactly a complex idea there, brain box. Jesus.

"Let's go to another kingdom, together, where we won't be torn apart. Let's leave now."

Go to the Kingdom of random-slash-couples-that-could-never-really-happen and stay there you fucking whiney shits. Go live under the thumb of Queen Bumblebee and see how well you like that.

Seifer smiled and nodded.

"Let's steal the carriage I came in. I learned to drive it ages ago. And my stuff is still inside."


Now this is like a Final Fantasy/Grand Theft Auto crossover.

Quietly, the couple raced to the carriage and boarded.

"Get ready for our getaway!" Seiefr laughed.


Bumblebee is so excited by their homosexuality she can't even spell their names probably right now.

He had to admit, though he had to flee to be with his beloved, it was rather exciting.

"This means loads to me, Seifer. It's kind of crazy, but we'll be happy."


They've known each other for a good, uh, couple of hours now, so naturally their happiness together over the course of a lifetime is assured.

"Well," Seifer said said, grinning, "people do crazy things when they're in love."

"L-love?"


Ah, there we go. The L-word. This fic is done.

"I love you, Squall. I felt it when I saw you." Seifer gave Squall a peck on the cheek.

"But you don't have to say it back yet. That's all right."

"I love you too, Seifer-kun."


Out of all the things she could throw in this story, it would have to be the random Japanese...

And so, in the small horse-drawn carriage, the two fled to be together in the Realm of the Warrior. The two were wedded, and lived in the kingdom together. Nothing could have torn the two apart, no matter what. They were together to the end of their days, always looking at each other with love in their eyes.

Brief ending, but to be honest I wouldn't have it any other way. If only the whole story had been a one-paragraph summery, it would have been my favorite Bumblebee fic.
 

* * *


The End of my one-shot fairy-tale! Did you like it? It was fluffy, my favorite.


Uh, good for you.

But you shouldn't have to listen to my ranting. Tell me in a review if you enjoyed the story. No flames, though

You can almost hear the desperation and pleading in her voice. Then you laugh manically and flame her anyway.

since it is my first fairy-tale. Thanks!!

For all the fish? Yay, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy joke! Whoooo! I'm cool. Had to slip at least one line stolen from a book in here somewhere. Might as well be right at the end.


 

Well, now that the fic is over I feel that I should talk about what it has taught us so that we can all feel like we have at least learned something here instead of wasted a good portion of our short and meaningless lives.

I think it is painfully clear that no matter how well a game explains the personality of a key character and goes out of its way to indicate that there is no other possible romantic relationship for this character than the one they end the game with, it still won't be safe from crazy, slavering, fantasy-driven fangirls with a crush on one or more of the characters. Also, I think we've learned that fangirls will never, ever pair their favorite characters up in realistic relationships because somehow this doesn't give them pleasure. Instead they must think of the most unrealistic pairing possible and then make up the stupidest plotline you've ever heard of simply to bring these two characters together. Then, most of the time they'll rewrite the original love interest of their favorite character from the game into the biggest bimbo/psycho ever simply to get even with the wench that stole their man.

So, has anyone actually learned anything that they'll be able to use to impress people or improve their lives in any conceivable way? No? Good.

 

-Written by Chris Keating.